It Would Have Been Like
by Dwight4Studly
Summary: Harry is desperate to know what it would have been like to live with Sirius if he had not fallen behind the veil. He just finds out more than what he knew. Slash, RemusSirius Completed.
1. Prepared to Know

Title: It Would Have Been Like

Author: Dwight4Studly

Rating: PG … Maybe PG 13 later, I dunno …

Summary: Harry is desperate to know what it would have been like to live with Sirius if he had not fallen behind the veil. He just finds out more than what he knew.

AN/ Well, it's not finished yet, and I know that this first chapter is kind of awkward, but I hope you like it anyway. And remember: Review, Review, Review!

Chapter 1: Prepared to know.

Harry sat in the common room, brooding. He had just received a letter from Professor Lupin.

"I know this has been hard for you, Harry. If you need to talk, I'd be happy to answer anything for you." Hermione read the ending aloud.

"Well, that sounds reasonable. I'm sure he could tell you loads of stuff, Harry. Why don't you do it?" Ron said reasonably.

"Because, he just doesn't know how I feel …" Harry said quietly, pulling his knees to his chest.

"Come on, Harry. You really don't believe that, now do you?" Hermione huffed. She really was starting to get annoyed with this. Harry had been moping constantly. Sure, given that his godfather had just … passed, but that didn't give him any right to think that he was the only one suffering. In fact …

"Harry, Ron is right. He would be able to tell you a lot of things about your parents and Sirius. At least write him a thank you note. It probably took a lot of courage on his part to even send the letter." Hermione logically.

Harry grumbled. "… Maybe I'll just go since you think I can't make my own decisions on how to handle my own situations. You're not perfect, Hermione. You don't always need to solve everyone's problems. Maybe you just need to lay off and stop being so nosey all the time." Harry growled from behind his knees.

Hermione truly looked hurt.

Ron jumped up form his chair, red faced in his rage. "Harry! _You_ need to stop being such a prat and be grateful that Hermione is worried about you. She's just being a friend. We both are trying to help you!" Ron yelled, looming over Harry. Harry just glared back.

"That's okay, Ron. I'll just go up stairs now. Good night." Hermione said dully, leaving the room hastily.

Ron watched her ascend the stairway quietly, his fists and jaw clenching. When they could hear the door shut quietly, Ron's heated gaze returned to his dimwitted friend.

"You know Harry, you're such a prick." Ron said finally and strode away angrily to their dormitory.

Harry stared into the dwindling fire where he remained in blank thought. Then he looked at the letter where it was slightly crumbled around the edges; probably where Hermione had gripped from her pain. A feeling of sadness washed over him. He slightly regretted yelling at her. She didn't deserve to be treated like that. She and Ron really were trying to be friends … but what did they know? She didn't know his pain. Not her, not Ron, not Professor Lupin.

Anger swelled in his chest as he jumped up and paced toward the worn letter. He grabbed it up and flung it into the fire. He watched the golden embers brush the old parchment before ultimately consuming it. Flames burst around it, licking their way through the graceful handwriting. And that's when Harry saw Professor Lupin's tired face and sad eyes when he turned away from the archway. Just as the parchment dwindled in the hearth, so did Harry's anger.

Maybe he could just go talk to Dumbledore.


	2. There is a Way

Title: It Would Have Been Like

Author: Dwight4Studly

Rating: PG … Maybe PG 13 later, I dunno …

Summary: Harry is desperate to know what it would have been like to live with Sirius if he had not fallen behind the veil. He just finds out more than what he knew.

AN/ I had this chapter finished, and I thought I'd ease you guys in. Well … Review!

Chapter 2: There is a way.

There was a soft knock at Dumbledore's grand, ancient office door. "Come in.," he said, smiling as Harry timidly walked in.

"It's past eleven, Harry … is there something the matter?" Dumbledore asked kindly. The young boys face was set.

"Headmaster, would it be possible for me to see how things would have been if … if Sirius … if he hadn't had …" Harry stumbled, though he had definitely become more straightforward. Dumbledore understood that it was still extremely hard for Harry to accept the simple fact that Sirius had died. Sirius death had been hard for a numerous amount of people.

"You want to know how life would have been like for you to have lived with Sirius?" he added in helpfully. Harry nodded his head.

Dumbledore averted his eyes from the youth that sat in front of him. The fire that burned in Harry's usually dull emerald eyes was so bright now. Maybe his request should be granted …

"It can be done, can't it Headmaster?"

The old man sighed.

"Do you really want to know? It would only hurt all the more. Are you sure, Harry?" he questioned softly yet with such great importance.

With eyes still blazing, Harry replied: "I want to know how life would have been like with Sirius."

Knowing that he would maybe later regret this, the headmaster slowly nodded his head. "It can be done, Harry. But like the Mirror of Erised, the act could drive a man mad, knowing of something he cannot have. But you, more than anyone, needs and deserves to know how Sirius was really like, to know about the things he loved, the people he loved … I can give you a week …"

"Thank you, Headmaster. I-"

"You must return, Harry," Dumbledore said urgently, "You cannot dwell in something that is no more. This will open your eyes to the truths, to know that others suffer as you suffer, and you can possibly find comfort in what Sirius would have wanted."

With utter determination on his face, Harry nodded, "Yes, Headmaster."

Dumbledore sighed, standing slowly and walked to where Harry stood. "Come this way, Harry." He said, leading him to where the Pensive sat in the corner of his office. He transfigured a chair into a reclining sofa, and motioned Harry to lie on it.

"The whole experience is practically a dream, just insight on the things that could have been. You will sleep, and everything in the dream will seem to take an entire week, when in reality it only lasts a day. You will sleep in here and your classes for tomorrow will be excused. Now, you need to concentrate on what you want to know and relax."

Harry did this, closing his eyes. Dumbledore raised his hand, touching Harry's closed eyes and muttered the incantation.

He sincerely hoped he would not regret this, but that it would help Harry.


	3. Truths of Things Unknown

Title: It Would Have Been Like

Author: Dwight4Studly

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Harry is desperate to know what it would have been like to live with Sirius if he had not fallen behind the veil. He just finds out more than what he knew.

AN/ Had a bad day, so I thought I'd give you guys the beginning of our little Harry's journey to truth. I own nothing. Please, please review!

Chapter 3: Truths of Things Unknown

Warmth engulfed Harry, his vision blurring comfortably. He breathed deeply of forest and fresh air and … dog? Eyes flying open, Harry stared wildly about him, sitting up abruptly. He groped around for his glasses and placed them on the bridge of his nose hastily. His vision blurred into the shape of a room around him.

The room was of medium size with people on posters and pictures waving enthusiastically at him. It also consisted of an oak wardrobe, a small desk, and a squishy twin sized bed with scarlet sheets. It was oddly relaxing. Even … homey. Where the hell was he?

Suddenly, a familiar voice, scratchy with morning wakefulness, stopped him dead. _Could it be? …_

Sirius Black stuck his head in the doorway. He looked at Harry sleepily with pale eyes, his long tousled ebony hair falling down his lean chest. He only wore a pair of loose pajama bottoms that drug to the floor and a shabby gray t-shirt. "So you're awake! Come have some breakfast," he said smiling before leaving down the hall that was clearly visible from where Harry sat among the soft, worn sheets. Harry's head buzzed with disbelief.

Happiness flooded him as he jumped out of the bed, noting the blue and white striped ruffled cotton pajamas that he wore around his thin frame. He was really living with Sirius! Sirius was alive and well and making him breakfast! He had to restrain himself from running down the unfamiliar hall into the kitchen.

"Take a seat my fine, young fellow! What will it be, then?" Sirius said slightly charismatically, even for this early in the morning. He charmed pans and plates to guide themselves to the small round table in the center of the medium sized, kosher kitchen. "Scones, toast, bacon, eggs, you name it."

Harry still couldn't believe it. Dare he believe it? …

"… Er … toast?" Harry said, still awestricken at the sight of his charmingly handsome godfather. Harry slowly sat down at the table, facing Sirius as he moved around to prepare the morning meal. Harry couldn't help but stare in awe at the father figure he thought he had lost forever beyond the veil. He looked so very … different … there was just something about him that almost … glowed …

"Toast it is! Then how about some bacon and sausage and … Let's see ... What else does Moony like for breakfast around this time?"

… _Moony? You mean- _

"Good morning," called a drowsy voice from the doorway.

_-Professor Lupin? _

Remus walked over to Harry, ruffling his hair affectionately, then moved swiftly passed him.

_This is odd. What's Professor Lupin doing here? Why is he-_ Harry was caught mid-sentence as his questions were answered before his very eyes.

Remus walked softly up to where Sirius was standing at the counter, slipped a lithe arm around Sirius' slim waist, and kissed him. On the lips. And Sirius kissed him back. _What the hell is going on here!_ Harry couldn't believe his eyes.

After letting go of the tender kiss, Sirius asked, "So what will you have, love?"

"_Love?!" _

"Oh, just some tea, thanks. I'm not that hungry …"

"Oh, have some scones, Remus. You should be hungry after all the romping we did last night," said Sirius smiling and turned to wink at Harry. All Harry could feel was rush of blood to his cheeks, his mouth dropping in amazement.

_Oh my god!_

"Sirius! Stop that!" Remus said punching Sirius' arm playfully, blushing himself.

Sirius laughed, raising his hands in defense, "Alright, alright! I'm sorry for damaging our Harry's young virgin ears." Remus laughed too. Harry had no idea why they were laughing and honestly was afraid to know.

"What's wrong, Harry? You look a bit flustered. Do you need some water?" Remus asked, spying Harry's shocked state. The two adults started to walk over to him. "No– no … I'm- I'm fine …" Harry muttered looking down into his lap.

" It's sunny today, so I'm going to work in the garden today. It looks like it's choking." Remus stated as he put the cleaned dishes away.

Sirius stretched and settled in his chair. "That sounds like a good idea, Moony. How about you and I play some catch, Harry?" Sirius said, turning to Harry.

_Erm … catch?_ "Sure."

"Great! We'll go change. See you out in the front yard in ten minutes." Sirius said, standing to drag Remus away. Remus flashed a smile at Harry before they disappeared behind the doorframe.

_What was _that_? Sirius and Professor Lupin? Together? As in- Oh god! They're actually-_

Harry's train of thought was interrupted as his head fell and slammed against the table.

He really didn't have a problem with guys being … that way with each other. The Dursleys did all the worrying he'd ever have to do. That didn't mean it wasn't a shock. He had had no idea.

Then a thought struck him.

If this is how things would have been like … than that means … Sirius and Remus were lovers.

Harry suddenly felt absolutely horrible. Here he had acted like a child over Sirius' death, while Remus had to silently suffer.

With that in mind, them being together really wasn't so impossible. They seemed so happy with each other.

_Okay, it's not so bad. But I swear, if they pull another one of those kissy moments, I think I'll have to kill myself._


	4. Catch and the Full Moon

Title: It Would Have Been Like

Author: Dwight4Studly

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Harry is desperate to know what it would have been like to live with Sirius if he had not fallen behind the veil. He just finds out more than what he knew.

AN/

Well … I have officially received my first flame.

**Sara:** Oh...ew. I thought it would be an interesting story, but it's just another racy slash thing disguised as a plot. YUck.

First of all, flaming is just something you don't do. It is **extremely** rude, so when you don't like something about a story you leave quietly so no one gets hurt. Sara, dear, if you are out there, please know that this has weighed on me for a while; and to be cowardly enough not to post your email address or anything … I really hope you're happy with yourself. Merry Christmas to you, and may you have good fortune.

Anyway, I just wanted to let all of you out there who have posted: thank you. Very much. I apologize that I had no warning that this story was slash oriented. It didn't cross my mind, and I am sorry if you have been offended or put off.

Either way, Please don't flame anyone. It really makes them feel terrible. Any of you who have been flames knows what its like, so just don't do it. I always accept constructive criticism, though! I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 4: Catch and the Full Moon

15 minutes later, Harry walked the small front yard.

Hundreds of trees scattered the cottage's back area, while a wide-open space with a small beaten path graced the front. Harry could faintly see a tiny town in the distance.

Remus knelt in a muddy patch beside the doorway, multiple herbs of every shape and size spotted inside of it. He wore a pair of beaten gloves, some old looking jeans, and an off-white tee shirt that had a small hole at the neckline. He looked up from his struggle with a particularly stubborn, stringy purple weed.

"Sirius is over there." He stated, smiling at Harry as he looked over his shoulder to the lanky man that sat on the green grass, throwing a ball up in the air and catching it gracefully.

Harry couldn't help but smile in return to such warmth. Professor Lupin wasn't any different. Why should it be a problem that he loved Sirius too? Well, given, it wasn't the same exact love that Harry felt toward Sirius, but it was love non-the-less...

"Harry!" Sirius called joyfully, standing as his godson made his way toward him.

"Here," he said, tossing the beaten yellow ball to Harry. "Throw it as far as you can."

Harry caught it, looking at the ball puzzlingly as Sirius made his mark, stretching one long leg behind him and one slightly crouched with knees bent, watching the ball intently.

Harry shrugged and threw the ball as hard as he could. The ball zoomed into the air, moving further into the distance before descending slowly back to the ground. He looked to see Sirius run at top speed, meeting the ball half way before changing in one fluid motion into Padfoot, his long silky ebony fur flowing. The big black dog bounded its way toward the descending point, and as the ball fell, he leapt into the air, catching it in his mighty jaws. Harry's face broke into a grin and he heard Lupin clapping politely before returning back to his activity.

The dog trotted back, his tail swishing jubilantly behind him.

"That was amazing, Sirius!" Harry exclaimed after the dog dropped the ball at his feet. Padfoot swiftly changed into his human form, grinning at the young man proudly. "What else did you expect?"

They spent an hour playing the tossing game before both of them collapsed to the ground, laughing. Remus gazed approvingly at his garden, weed-less and pruned.

"Want to annoy Moony over there a bit?" Sirius asked quietly to his companion. Harry smiled, nodding.

Silently, Sirius made his way toward the werewolf that obliviously admired his handy work. Sirius crawled slowly, getting himself to Remus' level, trying not to make a sound. He was now inches from his target when suddenly …

Splat

Maybe said werewolf wasn't so oblivious …

Dark, earthy mud dripped down the face of an astonished looking Sirius.

Harry had to slap his hand over his mouth to prevent himself laughing.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Padfoot. Didn't know you were there, love …" Remus exclaimed "innocently". He winked to Harry over Sirius' broad shoulder.

"You meant to do that!" Sirius cried, wiping the earth off of his face.

"Who, me?" replied Remus angelically.

"Yes you, you little bugger!" Sirius exclaimed before jumping the werewolf, tickling him mercilessly.

Remus fell back from the weight of the other man, his hair smearing into the mud as he thrashed about, laughing almost painfully. "Ha- Harry! Harry, help me!" Remus gasped between fits of laughter.

"Oh no you don't! No one can save you from my wrath!" Sirius cackled evilly, groping a messy ball of mud and smudging it across Remus' forehead, which emitted a cry of defeat from the lithe man under him.

Harry laughed freely now. He stumbled over to the two grown men that wrestled on the earth. _They were so happy…_ Harry thought sadly.

Abruptly Harry felt the slippery mud splat against his face, mud covering his glasses. He wiped them quickly to see the two wizards aiming mud balls at his face.

Mud flew all over the place.

Ten minutes later they all lay in a heap.

"My garden is absolutely demolished," Remus said quietly as they watched a cloud drift lazily above them.

"Oh, but you love me anyway," Sirius said nonchalantly.

Harry could tell Lupin was biting back a retort because when he smiled, his jaw clenched visibly through the caked mud.

There was a comfortable silence.

Harry was laying on Sirius' left, about a foot away, while Remus lay on Sirius' right, just as equally close. But when the peacefulness settled in, Harry could feel a prickly tension rise.

"Full moon is tonight." Remus whispered hoarsely, suddenly sounding tired. Sirius turned his head to the side, facing his friend. Lover Harry corrected himself.

Harry saw out of the corner of his eye Sirius grabbing Lupin's hand sympathetically.

Remus cleared his throat distractedly, jumping up away from the two. "I think I'll go clean up a bit before I get things ready."

"Remus …" Sirius said quietly as he sat up.

"Stop fussing Sirius, I'm not a child."

"But –"

"Harry, how about you spray him down with the hose. He seems to need a good bath." Remus said dryly as he turned to Harry, blocking Sirius with his face set.

Harry smiled and nodded his head.

Lupin smiled. "Good. I'm off." That was the end of all conversations as he walked up the small, dirt path that led to the door.

Sirius just sat there for a moment, deep in thought. Harry felt that he needed to say something but he didn't. Had they just suddenly gotten into a fight?

"I think I'll go join him." Sirius said, standing up. "Get washed up." The command wasn't forceful, just a statement of fact. Then Harry felt the sting in his checks, not knowing exactly what Sirius was joining him in.


	5. Library of Books and a Forbidden Room

Title: It Would Have Been Like

Author: Dwight4Studly

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Harry is desperate to know what it would have been like to live with Sirius if he had not fallen behind the veil. He just finds out more than what he knew.

AN/ Thank you all who have reviewed and thank you for your sympathies. I really have enjoyed writing this story so far, and I hope to finish it all the way through (but only with your support!). As you all know, hopefully now, that this is slash (you have me all paranoid) and that I own none of these characters.

I suspect that I won't be writing much for a bit, for exams are upon me. If you are in school, you should be concentrating too. (CONSTANT VIGILANCE!) So, before you head for the textbooks and analysis sheets (as you should), review! Good luck everybody with those damned exams.

Chapter 5: Library of Books and a Forbidden Room

Harry walked out of his room toward the laundry room, toweling his hair dry when something stopped him. A door he had guessed to be Remus and Sirius' room was opened ajar.

"It will be okay, Remus. He's always safe during the moon."

"But what if either you or I drop our guard, or if the potion doesn't work … I wouldn't be able to live-"

Sirius grabbed Remus into a bone-crushing hug, forcing his head into the nape of the slightly taller wizard.

"You always worry about this; it's never going to change, just trust yourself for once, Moony. The potion is going to work, even if the slimy git made it. He had to do it correctly, or Dumbledore would do something about it. So just stop worrying … I'd never let something like that ever happen." Sirius said quite clearly.

Remus reached up to wrap his arms around Sirius's back, placing his hands on his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Padfoot. I can't help it … ." His voice was muffled from being buried in Sirius's shoulder, but neither seemed to mind. Harry just continued to walk on and opened the door into his bedroom.

Harry toured the small house for the rest of the day while Professor Lupin and Sirius got the supplies for the night ahead. He had ventured into every room except the couple's bedchamber. That, he couldn't handle just yet.

He couldn't place in his own mind what he pictured their room to be like. He imagined laced bed sheets and posters of very muscular men in tight, tight undergarments and shuddered. Would they really have something like that? Just the thought of them in the same bed, doing things that required two people would send a jolt down his spine. That would definitely have to come for another day …

They did have a fantastic library, though. Every book over the Defense Against the Dark Arts imaginable sat upon the dusty books shelves beside the antique desk. Harry even saw one completely over werewolves and he noted to himself to look through it later. He did know a bit over werewolves, but only that could be provided in his text; and this book was rather large.

Darkness fell and Sirius knocked on his door. Harry answered, setting down a picture album that he had been looking through.

"You know the drill. Just stay in the house and don't open the door. Whatever you might hear, don't venture out. We should be back in by dawn. Are you okay, Harry?" Sirius asked, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.

Harry nodded. "Will Professor Lupin be all right?" he had to ask.

Sirius chuckled. "You know he'd rather you call him Remus. I thought we were through with that stage," he smiled sadly, "But, yes. He will be fine. He just needs some time." He taking his hand off of the boy and strained another weak smile.

They stood in silence for a moment, and Harry had no idea what to say, except, "Good luck."

"Thank you, Harry. One day you will be able to see the wolf for what it truly is …"

Harry didn't really understand what he meant, but he nodded anyway. With that, Sirius left him to his own entertainment.

It wasn't till around midnight that he stepped into the dark study. He set his candle on the oak desk and walked over to the bookcase. He ran his fingers over the spines, thick and thin, until he came across the one he was searching for. As he pulled the heavy book out, he felt a surge of magic in his palm and he knew instantly that this was a very old book.

And indeed it was very old. The leather bound cover was worn and soft after many years of use. The chipped, loopy gold calligraphy that encrypted it contained symbols that Harry did not recognize. The curling yellow parchment crinkled in his hand as he turned the pages open.

He could not understand most of the letters that filled the pages either, but the pictures were clear enough.

A drawing of a man with hair covering his body gripped at his chest, a look of pure anguish etched on his flat features.

A wolf crouched down low, curling its sharp claws around a small thing that could only be seen as a child, a ravenous glint in its eye and mouth salivating.

A wolf sat upon a black hillside, face upturned to the moon, a howl torn through its throat. This particular one was entitled in Latin. Mother Moon. Werewolves were trapped by the moon's presence, never being able to live without her. Harry shuddered, flipping through the pages carefully when he saw a wizard picture instead of a drawing. The picture was that of a mass of bodies, strewn about a bloodied ground and limbs across the way.

Looking through the text, Harry found various notes beside the columns of script translated into English. Curious, he held the book closer to the flame, shining as much light upon it as he could.

_"Werewolf packs are of the most dangerous kind. Hunting in such great numbers (as seen in the results to the Massacre of Annecy, 15 May 1645), werewolf pacts are known to devour or maim hundreds of innocents. Tearing out the jugular vein and snapping the spinal cord (pictured on page 274), the werewolf..."_

_"… sharp senses of smell and sound waves. These are especially strong before and after the waxing of the moon. Also, the colour of the eyes of a werewolf is often the telling attribute. The colour itself ranges from intense, forest green to amber. Small, fine tufts of hair gather on the palm but is barely noticeable unless not attended to."_

_"When a werewolf's mate dies …"_

The grandfather clock outside the door chimed half past five and startled Harry out of his sleep. He must have dozed off in the middle of the book, because the candle beside him was diminished and his face hurt from the edge of the pages digging into his cheek. His head snapped up as he heard the sound of the door open. He hurried and placed the book in its rightful place.

Slowly, he headed out of the room and was going towards his bedroom when something caught his eye. He stopped, frozen, when he registered that it was Sirius, holding Remus up in his arms, moving gradually through the kitchen. Remus was completely out cold and wrapped up in a cloak, his face paler than the moonlight that had passed not long ago.

Harry moved into the shadows of the hall and watched as Sirius walked pass him. He could see the whitish skin littered with bruises and scratches beneath the rim of the collar of Remus's cloak. Sirius toed the door to their room open and Harry watched as he placed Remus down on the bed tenderly. When the door closed quietly behind them, Harry stepped into his own room.


	6. A Mind Full of Questions

Title: It Would Have Been Like

Author: Dwight4Studly

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Harry is desperate to know what it would have been like to live with Sirius if he had not fallen behind the veil. He just finds out more than what he knew.

AN/ I know, I know. It's been a long time, but I'm here now and that's fine, isn't it? I hope none of you have forgotten this story. Anyway, I hope you like it, either way.

Chapter 6: A mind full of questions

Harry awoke to the bright light of the afternoon sun. He squinted his eyes, pulling his glasses on. It had to be no later than noon. He stretched, bedcovers tangling in his legs before he stood form the comfort of sleep. It took him a bit to register where exactly he was; and when he did, everything came back in a flood.

Sirius was alive—Professor Lupin and Sirius—The full moon …

Harry sighed hugely, rubbing his face. He couldn't believe he was so blind as to not see it before. The way they would meet each other's eyes. The way they would always know what the other thought. How easily forgiveness came to them. Hell, they had given him a bloody joint Christmas gift. Harry shook his heads in his own daftness.

He wandered to the kitchen and made a pot of tea. A few minutes later, the whistle of the kettle broke him from his reverie and he set up a tray. He didn't know exactly why he was making his way to their door, and didn't know what to do when he got there, but he was.

The door stood tall and Harry felt absolutely clueless. _Am I really ready for this?_ He thought, not sure of what he would see. Quietly, he knocked at the door with his toe. After a moment of no answer, he took a deep breath and pushed it open.

The space was dark with the curtains drawn. Harry felt as if he was intruding on something sacred, something secret. But it wasn't a secret anymore, so he moved on.

The room was sparse of furniture with only a wardrobe, two nightstands with lamps and pictures in frames, a wooden chair in the corner, and a decent sized bed. The bed was in the center, against the wall, and was very quaint with no head or footboard. The colors didn't scream _GAY_, just beige and red undertones with russet furniture. It was just normal room, much like his own.

Someone moved and Harry finally had the courage to look at them. Remus lay sprawled on his back, gingerly placed limbs in neat fashion next to his torso. Sirius was on his stomach, his arm draped over Remus' chest and fingers softly curled around the curve of his body. Their foreheads rested gently against the others as each other's breathes caused wisps of hair to stir.

Harry decided that whatever he was thinking was clearly not true and that he was just going to have to become accustomed to the way they were. With that out of his mind, Harry set the tray down on what was probably Professor Lupin's nightstand, brushing aside a picture of a couple. They were smiling and waving at him as he set it to the other side of the stand, not paying attention to what they were waving exactly to. Harry did this quietly and quickly. As much as he was going to accept them, he still didn't want to disturb them. At all.

Harry turned to leave, making his footfall soft and silent.

"Harry? … Is everything all right?"

He froze, the gruff voice behind him startling him. Professor Lupin cleared his throat as quietly as he could, apparently trying not to wake Sirius beside him.

Harry's mouth went dry for a second, but then he wetted his lips as he turned around to the man lying in the bed.

"I'm sorry to wake you, Pro- I mean, Remus. I just thought you two would like some tea. I thought you would be awake. I mean, it's all ready noon and maybe-"

"That's fine, Harry. You've no need to worry. I needed to wake, anyway," he said, sitting up gingerly. Sirius rolled over to his side, facing away form both of them. Remus made a sour face at him.

"You'd think that everything he's been through, he'd be able to wake at the drop of a hat. I guess some things never change," Remus said, shaking his head, smiling all the while. They both watched him sleep for a while, watching as he reached back and scratched behind his ear jerkily, then settle back down into the covers.

Harry smiled at the Professor nervously, glancing around the room. When Remus had set the light on with the careful tap of his wand, Harry could see the heavy curtains on the windows and knew that they were very old. He didn't know exactly what he should do in this situation.

Remus picked up one of the cups and nearly filled it to the rim. Sitting back against the wall, he considered Harry, who was lost in thought, for a moment.

"Why don't you have a seat, Harry? Have some tea," he said, gesturing to the chair in the corner and to the extra cup. "Tell me what you're thinking about."

"Oh," he said, looking around him. He spotted the chair, and brought it closer to the bed. He sat down on the sturdy wood, oddly comforted by the structure against his back. He really had nothing to worry about, he tried to tell himself. It wasn't like Professor Lupin would be harsh with him for anything. He never had.

Yet, so many questions surfaced in Harry's mind. What were his parents really like? How did he and Sirius start feeling such things about each other? What was it like to have Sirius go to Azkaban, and then fall behind the Veil as well? But he wouldn't know what he was talking about, would he?

Remus took a timid sip of the hot liquid and stared at Harry, meeting the emerald irises with his own amber ones.

"What's it like … being a werewolf? I mean, when were you bitten … how …?" Harry asked apprehensively.

Remus gave a sick sort of smile, looking down into his tea for a moment.

"I was six when we moved to Germany. My mother had relatives close to the Dark Forest, and I would go out into it. One night, I made the mistake to go out, against my mother and father's wishes, to do a bit of exploring. I don't remember much of the bite itself, or much after. All I can remember are fragments. Certain sights, smells. The trees were black against the sky, gaps vibrant in the white light of the moon. I can't remember what it was like when I was bitten, only that the air tasted of copper.

"When my mother followed me she found us, and stunned him. I never found out whom it was …" He took another sip from his tea, hands shaking slightly against the porcelain.

"When I transform, it burns everywhere. I feel my back arch, and it's like I'm being bent completely in half. All I can see is red, all I can taste is blood. The roaring is louder than the cracking of bones, and the pain is dulled after a while. And then it's like I pass out, like I go into a coma. But those are on bad nights …

"When Padfoot is there," he says gently, softly reaching over and touching Sirius hair before continuing his story, "all of my senses are sharpened. The world is gray, but I don't need color. The smells tell me everything that I need to know. The fresh grass, the rustling trees. The color is all there. And Padfoot … Well …" He smiled, lips curling slowly upwards against the rim of his cup before taking another drink.

Sirius turned again, lying on his back with his arm flung over his forehead. His eyes squeezed shut tightly, jaw clenching as he leaned his head back. His black hair splayed across the pillow when he turned over towards the two that watched him. Slowly opening his eyes, he huffed, looking between them for a moment.

"Morning, Sirius." Remus said, trying to keep the smile out of his voice as he rested his cup in his hands on his lap. Harry sat back in his chair, watching them both.

Groggily lifting his head, Sirius took another look around the room, and set his eyes on the teacup in Remus' lap, mere inches away from his face. Sitting up half way, he reached out, taking the cup, and downed the rest of the contents. Remus gaped visibly, looking incredulously from Sirius to Harry in the chair.

Harry grinned at him while Sirius smiled sweetly, kissing his cheek as an apology.

"Don't think I'll pardon your stealing with such a measly kiss." Remus said, smiling.

"Oh, Moony," Sirius said scandalously, "If you just wanted that, all you had to say was-"

"Oh, shut it, you. You perverted, dirty, little …"

"And you, dear Moon Child of Love, are perverted for putting for my perversions. Why, I didn't hear you complain when I-"

"That's it," Remus said a bit too loudly, getting up from the bed delicately, taking care from straining the bruised muscles or the aches. "Harry, I'm a bit hungry. How about we go find something for lunch?"

Harry smiled at their antics, helping Remus from the bed.

"Aww. C'mon, Moony!" Sirius cried, scrambling up from the bed, rushing over to his side exaggeratedly. Brushing Harry gently to the side, Sirius clung himself to the side of the disgruntled werewolf. "I'll fix us some bacon sandwiches. You can have more than both of us." He reached over and slung his arm around Harry's shoulder, pulling him in.

Remus chuckled, patting Sirius on the head. "That's a good lamb, then."

A.N. (Again? I can hear the groans from all of you over the speakers)/ If anyone can guess, the bacon sandwich reference was of that from The 10th Kingdom, one of the most amazing T.V. movie series that man has ever created. Ten points to the house that can think of a bacon quote from the movie or the book! In the mean while, I think I'll make myself on of those puppies right now.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry that it was shorter than I usually have it, but expect more, longer, chapters in the not so distant future. Oh, and did I mention to review?


	7. A Day Out

A.N./ Seeing as that I'm going to start my research paper for my class in a few days, I'm not going to have the chance to write much over the next three weeks. I'm also trying to finish the Lemony Snicket books and the Spiderwick Chronicles (both of which are wonderful series, even though Spiderwick is incredibly short).

So, without further ado, I present to you my next chapter. But, wait. There's more! This, my friends, is a double feature chapter. I'm proud to offer yet another flame (the crowd cheers)! After getting over the initial shock, I found a few words to dish out and I've posted them for your reading enjoyment.

Chapter 7: A Day Out

Sirius went ahead to fix the lunch, and gave Harry a moment to help Remus. He was walking very delicately, mincing at times from the pain. Harry felt as if he should do something to make it better for him, but he could not think of anything.

"The pain will go away soon enough, Harry. Last night was a good one, and I only have minor bruises. A good sleep did the trick, so don't look so worried." Remus said, stepping gingerly into the kitchen.

Harry nodded, oddly relieved.

The heavy smell of bacon sizzled in the air, hitting Harry with the crackling sound of meat frying in the pan. Sirius stood at the oven surface, casting this charm and that; making the bread toast, mustard to spread, and glasses to fill all at once as the bacon prepared itself. Harry hadn't realized how hungry he was until then.

They ate their sandwiches contently, sitting back in their chairs, saying absolutely nothing. But Harry still had many questions that he wanted answered, and in this time of peace he found the opportunity hard to pass up.

When Sirius finished his last sandwich and downed his drink, Harry leaned in a bit more, sandwich in hand and elbows on the table.

Harry started with a sort of hesitancy that he was hoping against. "Why did my parents get together? I mean, my mum apparently like my dad too much. Why would she date him if she hated him?"

Remus finished his bite and then cleared his throat. "It wasn't that she hated him, Harry. She never did. She just took a different approach of dealing with her emotions. You can't fault her for that, now can you?"

"And besides, Harry, it wasn't until they started seeing each other until James' head deflated a bit." Sirius said, his eyes growing soft for a moment. "James loved her very much, Harry; and for a long time. She couldn't resist."

The two men were silent, lost in thoughts of what was. Remus took a long breath before setting down the piece of uneaten sandwich.

"Besides, we've all ready talked about that a while ago. So," he said, his voice shaking a bit. "I think that was the last bit of food we have. We need to go out and get more groceries. Who would like t accompany me on my grand adventure?"

"Oh my," Sirius said sarcastically, standing to put his dishes away. "The new magnificent search for marvelous meat! How exciting … I'm in! How about you, Harry? Don't mind keeping up with us?"

Harry smiled, glad that the tension had left the room. "I may have to put you two on leashes, but if you're good I won't."

Sirius barked with laughter, dropping his plate in the sink. "Now that's the boy I know. Come on, Moony, let's go get dressed."

"You're only going because of him! I'm wounded, deeply …" Remus said, walking towards the door.

Sirius leaned in closely to Harry, whispering loudly, "Now, after the full, he gets kind of pissy. It makes me feel like I'm living with a woman …"

Remus swiftly cuffed the back of his head with his fist, storming out of the room.

"Ouch …" Sirius said, rubbing the sore. "See what I mean?"

They all met in front of the small fireplace five minutes later, Remus reaching for the brown jar on the mantel. Sirius set a small flame to crackle in the hearth with a flick of his wand so the heat radiating was pleasant enough to stand near.

"I hope you don't mind that we use Floo. I would rather fly, but I don't think I could manage." Remus said, grabbing a fistful of the powder. He offered it to the other two.

"No worries, Moony. Right, Harry?" Sirius said, passing the jar and gave Harry a warm smile.

"No problems at all, Remus. I'm actually surprised that you are up and moving …" Harry feigned for a different topic. Anyway, He wanted to know more about Lycanthropy, he just didn't know what he could say.

"Well …" Lupin said, almost diffidently. "We best be off. See you two there." With that, the professor threw the powder in with one motion, stepping in and shouted clearly, "Diagon Ally".

Sirius gave Harry a wink before following suit.

When it was his turn, Harry shut his eyes tightly, trying hard to ignore the increased weight of bacon in his stomach as he spun pass many a fireplace. Once the whirling stopped, he stumbled out of the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron into a pair of open arms.

"All right there, Harry?" Remus asked, brushing soot off of his cloak. He was sitting in one of the chairs, catching his breath as quietly as he could.

Sirius had his hands squarely on Harry's shoulders, steadying him from falling over. "Do you need to rest?" he asked, meeting his eyes.

Harry shook his head, confident. "No … no, I'm fine."

"Okay," Remus said, standing and walking to them. "Let's get going, then."

Brushing off the rest of the dust from their clothes, they stepped out into the sunny, bustling street of Diagon Ally.

Remus headed down to the Apothecary, telling the other two that he would only be there for a few minutes, and that they should go get some sweets from Honeydukes, and not to terry in the broom shop. When they promised not to, he walked down the street, being swallowed by the crowd until he was not visible anymore. So, moving their opposite ways, Harry and Sirius started for Honeydukes.

After a moment of silence between them, Sirius nudged Harry with his elbow, catching his attention. "Do you like living with us?" Sirius asked, uncharacteristically sober. Harry was taken aback for a few moments, not sure what to say.

Sirius seemed to take his silence as his answer. "That's fine. It took James a bit to cope, also. He wouldn't look at us for days after we told him. If it weren't for Lily, I don't think we would have coped ourselves. But he came through, and he still went back to being the best friend I've ever had. You're a lot like James, Harry, and that is really something to be proud of. I hope you know that ..."

His voice was quiet and he watched his feet as they walked down the cobble stone path. Harry's head also dropped, knowing he should say something to console him, but, yet again, he could not find the words to help.

He was so intent on focusing on his shoelace that he bumped into someone walking ahead of him.

"Hey! Watch it, you – Harry?"

A gangly boy, surely a man, with flaming red hair stood right in front of Harry, long arms stretched out. A girl stood beside him, her bushy hair framing her beautifully glowing face. She was also holding her arms outstretched, looking surprised.

"Ron! Hermione! What are you doing here on this lovely, lovely afternoon?" Sirius asked, sounding delighted. He clapped Ron on the shoulder in greeting and winked at Hermione and she smiled back. It was so odd for Harry to see that Ron was as tall as Sirius, if not taller.

"Mum and Ginny had some things to get. Hermione and I just tagged along." Ron said, his freckled face beaming. He shook hands with him, gripping strongly. Hermione wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly before letting go.

"Are you staying at the Burrow, Hermione?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"Don't you remember? The Weasley's invited us both over to stay for most of the summer, but you said that you were staying with Sirius and Professor Lupin. By the way, where is he, anyway?" She asked, looking around for the mild mannered professor.

As Sirius delved into an over extravagant story about how Remus was now battling for his life against the ministry and a whole horde of goblins from Gringots, Harry could see something different about his two best friends.

Ron and Hermione stood very close, leaning into each other slightly as they laughed at Sirius' wild story. Hermione was beaming, looking happier than she had ever before. Ron grinned with his teeth flashing, wrapping his arm around Hermione's waist lazily. But the odd thing was, was that she did not pull away. Actually, she leaned in more to him, as if she were cold.

"So," Sirius laughed. "Have you two had a good time, all alone in that big house?" Sirius raised his eyebrows suggestively, nudging Harry. Harry eyed the couple that blushed and stood a little bit more apart.

Harry looked between them, not understanding, until- "What?"

Sirius only laughed, smiling largely at the couple. Then, shaking his head, he asked, "When Remus gets back, would you like to accompany us to a round of drinks?"

"When I get back we what?" said a man, coming towards them through the crowd. He was carrying two large paper bags in each arm. He set one in Sirius' arms and readjusted the other in his own. Then he spotted the couple. "Ron, Hermione, how nice to see you!"

"Nice to see you again, Professor Lupin! How was last night?" Hermione asked, her brows etched in concern. "You're looking very well."

"It was easier than usual, but let's not dwell on such unhappy topics. What are you two doing here?"

Ron, Sirius, and Harry talked about some Quidditch tournament that was coming up in the next summer, while Remus and Hermione talked about the corruption in the Ministry as they made their way to the Leaky Cauldron. They were sitting and drinking cool mugs of pumpkin juice when Mrs. Weasley and Ginny found them.

"How pleasant to see you, Harry. And you, Remus dear, how are you feeling?" Molly busted over with her sacks of groceries, Ginny trailing along begrudgingly.

"Ah-hem!" Sirius cleared his throat, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh, and you too, Sirius." Molly waved her hand impatiently.

After many rounds of drinks, the group found how late that it was getting and prepared to part. Harry and Ron planed on Harry visiting, all though Harry knew this would never happen. Hermione and Remus shook hands while Hermione leaned in and whispered something very urgent to him. He paled for a moment then leaned back, smiling wearily. He said something to her, but Harry could not catch it. Molly and Sirius inclined their heads respectively, and Ginny gave Harry a hug goodbye that made him feel extremely weird, if not oddly pleasant.

As the Weasley and Granger group left the pub, Harry couldn't help but notice Ron and Hermione's hands clasped loosely together. He felt empty that all of these things had been going on around him, yet he had failed to realize and pay attention. He supposed that he owed them an apology when he got back, too.

After dinner, the three of them decided to camp out in the sitting room. When they walked into the room, Remus asked Harry if there would be something that he would like to read. Feeling an opportunity arising, Harry brought up the old, brown leather-bound book.

"Oh, Harry. That's a very old book. And besides, it's all in Gaelic and Latin. Would you even be able to read it?" He looked calm about it, but Harry thought that he could see something flicker in him; something like fear.

Sirius stretched, regarding them both. "Right, Harry. How about you choose something different. Maybe Remus could read it to you later." Remus gave him a startled look like he was shooting daggers. "Or, maybe not?" He added weakly, flopping onto the worn couch.

Remus pulled out two books, a thick one with a forest green cover and a thinner one made of material that looked like leaves. He handed the leafy one to Harry, smiling.

"This ones _The Many Shapes of a Boggarts_. I found it quite fascinating. Perhaps you'll like it also."

Harry accepted it, handling it carefully, nodding as he gave a smile of gratitude. "That does sound interesting."

Remus smiled weakly and turned over to Sirius. "And what shall you have, you great big lump?"

"Oh …" Sirius said, dramatically, lying limply on the couch. "I've no strength for such tedious deeds. No, I believe I shall bask in the content of your presence. In the magnificent, heart-warming, be- Oof!" Remus had sat on his abdomen to quite him.

"Oh, move over." He commanded, pushing his way in. Harry sat in the armchair across from them as Sirius sprawled over Remus. He rested his head on the armrest and closed his eyes, relaxed.

Curling up in the chair, Harry opened the book and began to read from the fourth page.

"_Boggarts take the shape of the most unpleasant things a mind can conceive. It takes many shapes and forms such as-" _

Not feeling like reading, Harry flipped through the book to find pictures. The only ones he could find were those of Wizards and Witches, old trunks and wardrobes, and flashes of light that looked like smoke in front of a picture. There was a caption underneath one orb that was floating around a sock drawer.

"_Contrary to the popular belief of Muggles, these film captured orbs and wisps are not ghosts, but are in fact Boggarts. Unable to chose their form, these creatures shape into a blank for a while until they can indicate the fear in the person or persons."_

Flipping through the rest of the book, Harry could find nothing else really of interest, so he softly closed the book. He concluded that it had to have been a good ten minutes that they had sat there in silence.

Remus sat, deep into his reading with his mouth in a straight line. He was reaching over to the armrest, threading his fingers through the black tresses on Sirius' hairline. He pushed the locks back softly, moving it gently to all sides, back and forth, lightly stroking the temples.

Sirius lay still, apparently fallen into a doze. His long legs were stretched out across the lap of his companion, hands folded on his chest. His breathing was deep and slow, and a smile rested lazily on his face.

After watching them for a bit, Harry remembered the look on Ron and Hermione's faces; the same soft look and small gestures that his godfather and professor shared. They had acted exactly the same way around each other like usual, except things seemed to intensify. All of it was almost too much for him to handle.

Then he though of the hug that Ginny gave him. It had made him tingle with something that he couldn't possibly explain. He wondered if what it was that he felt were the same things that Ron and Hermione and Remus and Sirius were feeling.

He looked up at the couple that sat on the couch, and caught a glimpse of them kissing. The must of thought it was safe that Harry wasn't watching them, because it was slow, almost to the point of listless. Remus had stretched over, leaning into Sirius as he kissed him, his hand still in Sirius' hair. Their lips brushed delicately, breathing as they did so.

Harry knew that it must be the same thing that Ron and Hermione were feeling, because Ron had gotten the same lazy smile on his face, one that Harry had never seen before, when Hermione hadn't pulled away as he took her hand into his. Or the way Hermione's smile brightened her face, looking as if she were the happiest person in the world.

Their loves couldn't have been that different. One love years strong and the other fresh and new as the spring dew; all were the same because it was love.

A.N./ I'll be honest with you, I really thought it was a joke for the first few lines but apparently I was mistaken. Review and tell me what you think of both the story (especially the story) and the flame. I eagerly await your humble reviews.

_**Flame Alert!**_

"Me and Skie agree entirely with Sara. (Though we don't know her) It's a sick and

disgusting story. Was there a reason Sirius and Lupin had to be gay?

Honestly,DISGUSTING!

Skieler- The plot COULD have been very interesting if the story wasn't so

disturbing to read.

Daesha- Let me guess. You're gay too. . . the story was how you felt...?

Skieler- Daesha's mean, but I must agree.

Thank You."

Well, thank you for telling me that my story line was interesting. But I just wanted to make sure that you are aware of all of the people who happen to ship Remus and Sirius. "_Me _(the lovely Daesha)and Skyler" (it was amazing for you to start this flame with grammatical errors, it really supported you in your _powerful_ argument) must know of all the people who sail this ship, and wouldn't dream of having your own bashed for any apparent reasons. Now would it be fair if I signed on and read a story you've written to bash it solely because I didn't like the pairing, especially if you take yourselves seriously in your beliefs? Is it so hard for you to comprehend that I might really think that these two characters are together, and not because it's slash and it's "HOTT N SEX C !!!ONE!1"?

Ahh … There in lies yet another of your faults: the failure to sign on and let me know who the hell is flaming me. If you don't have a ship to be accountable for, stories that you're particularly proud of and want to share with others like yourselves, then I wouldn't be so frustrated about the situation. Maybe if I knew whom I was up against I could have a little more respect for you, though small and insignificant it may be.

Next, what if I were gay? Would it truly matter anything to you? It's not like I'm going to walk down the road and attack you as you lay asleep. I can't see how you could find pleasure in singling people out and tormenting them just because they might have different views as yourselves.

As wonderful people as you two probably are (because yes, if you are girls, I want to have sex with you now, be with you every second of my life, and have you to call my cocoa-shnoocums and puppy queens of love), I must say that, yet again, how rude could you possibly present yourselves? I specifically put in the summary that, indeed this was a _slash_ fanfiction. Yet, you look for a fight anyway? Really, that was very eloquent.

Lastly … Yes, I believe you've founded me out. It is true that what I put in the relationship that Remus and Sirius share in all of my stories is that of how I feel of my own dead lover. You see, when I was twenty-one years old, my dear lover was taken away from me for murdering our best friends to live the rest of her life rotting away in Azkaban. After many years of hardships and having to deal with my terrible lycanthropy, we were once again reunited to bask in our eternal love. Shortly after, I'm afraid to inform you, she was killed in a horrific accident including a duel, some choice words, and a dirty rag hanging from an old archway. Though she fought gallantly, she ultimately perished and now I'm writing down how I feel to release pent up anger about my sad, sad situation.

"Honestly,DISGUSTING!"


	8. Visiting London

A.N./ Who finished her paper? Who will probably get a bad grade on it anyway? Yeah, that's me. Now I can resume writing this piece of crap for you guys! Many, many thanks to Elizabeth Tears for proofreading this for me! She has become a dear person for me, and I enjoy talking with her very much. 

So, everything applies. Not mine; never will be. Also, I thrive on your loverly reviews so please don't be shy!

Chapter 8: Visiting London

Harry felt as if he had melted, mouth wide as he breathed in fresh air. All he could see was green as he opened his eyes, long blades of grass intricate in the blowing wind. A warm summer breeze ruffled his hair and he closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of being lifted up in the swirl.

When he opened his eyes again he saw two people in the distance. They were so far away he could not tell exactly who they were. With curiosity taking hold of him, he wandered to the edge of the horizon. He started to build his speed as he saw the blurring figures become clearer.

The two were connected, hands clasped and leaning into each other. His chest burned with exertion, but the overriding feeling of comfort washed over him. He felt as if he could run for miles and miles and he would be fine: just as long as he made it to the couple.

The sky, once bright and pleasant, started to purple around the edges, the sun a large flaming orange sphere sinking at an alarming rate. It became darker, and the pale moon cast its cruel light along side the bright twinkling stars. A howl in the distance alarmed him, but he continued on. He couldn't stop now, not when he was so close.

He closed his eyes for a split second and he suddenly found himself stopped in his tracks. A face clouded his vision, bright green eyes shining with tears and flaming red eyebrows stitched with concern. Broad fingers were on his face, stroking his cheeks and Harry could see bright hazel eyes smiling with pride.

Harry knew that these people, these beautiful and sad people, who loved him with all their hearts, were-

Two pairs of hands clapped onto his shoulders and pulled him back. He winced and closed his eyes in fear of his impending rough fall to the hard earth beneath him, but he felt none. Instead of hitting the ground he seeped through it, his entire body feeling fluid and relaxed. This was odd, considering he was still falling. He closed his eyes, not caring about anything but the whooshing sound of air pressure building in his ears and the racing feeling of the atmosphere. It wasn't until he heard another abrupt sound of howling in the distance till that he opened his eyes.  
He recognized the poster-covered walls of his room. His room. He had only been in this house two days and already it felt more like home than Privet Drive had felt in sixteen years. Lifting his head groggily, he felt the soft sheets ruffle around him. He was still in his jeans and tee shirt, which had now become quite disheveled and uncomfortable. He knew that he must have fallen asleep in the sitting room and one of the couple had brought him into his own room without changing him.

Harry opened his mouth to find that it felt like he hadn't had a decent drink in a week Pushing the covers aside, he lifted his way out of his bed, stomach flopping with the unpleasant feeling that it was very early in the morning.

He padded quietly down the hall to the edge of the sitting room, making as little sound as possible. Whispering voices caused him to stop and he moved back a bit to avoid being seen. Apparently it hadn't been as late as he had thought.

"… Ministry. Sirius, they're starting to kill out the clans. When I walked into the apothecary, two blokes were talking about it as if it were as important as the weather. The Ministry is setting these new policies so that not one of us will survive. All about new restrictions, and new procedures.

"They're lowering the years for the Registry, so now checks are made every year! And the newest procedure is directly on packs. One slip up and the entire pack pays for it. All of them are being slaughtered! In the Bisclavenet pack, they used silver to prolong inquiry sessions. Merlin, Sirius, and that included the cubs! This is as close as the Poligny clan in Rennes. In France, Sirius, god."

Harry could see his former professor shaking so hard that his godfather had to lean in close and hold him still, whispering something to him. Lupin jerked up and away from the embrace.

"No," he said, distraught. "It will never be over. Not so long as Voldemort is around. Don't you see? The Ministry is so afraid that these packs are going to join him, and they know how much power they have. So, they're coming up with new, legal, ways to eliminate them."

Remus was pacing now, moving from the couch to the fireplace to the bookshelf in long strides. Sirius still sat on the couch, frozen in place. He seemed to be calculating something in his head, staring at the rug on the dark hardwood floor. Growing tired, Remus walked over to him, standing very close.

Remus stepped between Sirius' spread legs, calves hitting the couch edge. He gave a defeated sigh, running his fingers through the ebony locks below him. Sirius buried his face in his shirt, pressing his cheek against the werewolf's flat stomach. Remus lowered his head so that strands of tawny and silver hair covered his face. He rubbed his long fingers right behind Sirius ear, eliciting a soft whimper from the other man.

"Maybe … something could happen. Voldemort may be getting stronger, but we are also. I just …" Remus' voice was cut short, something like a sob catching in his throat. Sirius reached up and held Remus' hips in his broad hands.

"I love you …" Harry heard Sirius' voice, muffled and quiet. 

Remus sank to the floor in front of him, their faces soon level. He took his face his hands and placed a soft kiss to his brow. Resting their foreheads against the others', Remus whispered something too.

Harry then felt as if he were intruding rather rudely and found that he wasn't as thirsty as he thought he was. Tip-toeing across the hall, he slipped back into his room. The two troubled men were none the wiser.

The next day was spent doing daily chores and ambling around the house. Harry hadn't felt the satisfaction of a lazy day in a good while. The constant fear of Voldemort put a strain on everyone, but here it felt different. Everything was coated with a film of calm over the panic, and it had to do for the time being until everything could be sorted out. This calm exterior did not lack ignorance, though. It was just something soothing to help them cope.

After they had lunch, as Remus was putting the dishes away, Sirius asked if Harry would like to go flying out on the bike. And, of course, he accepted.

They walked back out to a tin broom shed at the back of the house as Remus watched from the porch. With a flourish, Sirius opened the doors wide to show a huge mass of blankets shrouding a large object. Sirius cooed softly, gently slipping off the cover to expose the shiny black motorbike. He kicked the stand up and steered it out into the sun. 

Harry had to note that it really was a beautiful bike with it's polished chrome and cracked leather seat. Sirius set it out and asked Harry to retrieve the helmets in the backs. After venturing into the depths of the tiny shack, Harry immerged with two sturdy helmets with thick, clear cover visors in hand. Quiet ideal for flying, especially if you were to fall off and crack your head on the asphalt below.

Sirius took one, sweeping his hair back to place it on his head and motioned for Harry to do the same. The interior was stuffy and he knew that the back of his neck and forehead would be covered in sweat, but he did as he was told. Sirius was already astride the massive bike and patting the seat behind him. Mounting it with some difficulty, Harry got on and held to the ridge of the end seat.

Remus had walked over to them, standing between them. He knocked twice on the hard exterior of the helmet on Sirius' head.

"You two be careful. Be home in time for dinner, right," he commanded. 

Sirius flipped his visor up, giving him a cheeky grin.

"Of course, Moony. You sure you don't want to come?" he asked, kicking the bike to life and revving up the engine. The entire bike vibrated below Harry, and it sent him buzzing. His nerves were on edge, seeing as that this was his first time flying on the bike since he was a baby.

"You know I can't. When I finish my work, I can make you a some Yorkshire pudding for dinner. How's that?"

Sirius made a long, content sound and leaned forward with his lips pouting in a kissing face. Remus laughed and flicked his nose. Harry couldn't help but laugh at Sirius face, scrunched up from the pain. Sirius revved up the engine again loudly, and caused the werewolf to cover his sensitive ears and jump back. With that, the two on the bike sped ahead and Harry clutched Sirius shoulders for support as his body leaned back from the sheer force.

They were travelling at an alarming rate into the clear field left of the house. Harry wondered when they would lift from the ground, and suddenly they were. The front tire lifted from the grass, soon followed by the back and they were being elevated completely. Harry felt as if his entire body was being pulled up into the sky and he held tighter to Sirius' broad shoulders.

Harry could hear the whoosh of air go across his helmet and sweat started to trickle down his brow. Aside from that, the view was gorgeous. The two had flown so high up, that the towns below seemed like tiny ant farms. Clouds gathered around them and everything went hazy as Sirius pulled up to the sky.

Letting go of one of the handlebars, Sirius reached into his jacket and pulled out his wand. Pointing it once at his helmet and once at Harry's, the hard coverings disappeared. Hard wind gusted in his face, whipping his hair from his face and his glasses almost fell off. The exhilarating rush flooded Harry and he grinned broadly. Sirius crowed loudly, barking with laughter.

After what seemed like ten minutes moments of flying Sirius lowered altitude, craning his head to survey the ground below. They were just above a city, oddly familiar but not too crowded. Spotting an area where no one was around, Sirius gently lowered the bike until they bumped to the ground and skidded to a stop.

Sirius cut the engine and placed the gear pedal to a stand still. Swinging his long leg off of the padded seat, Sirius helped Harry down. 

"That was amazing, Sirius!" Harry exclaimed, smoothing his hair down from the wind lashing it took and centering his glasses. Sirius chuckled and pulled out his wand once again, pointing it to the bike. In an instant, it moved over to an abandoned alleyway and disappeared all together.

Harry looked around him, suddenly noticing where they were. The street was filled with grimy looking houses with broken windows. Yes, this was very familiar. Between two houses, there was a huge space with a large pile of rubble and soot scattered the ground.

Sirius crossed his arms and smirked smugly.

"Merlin, it's so nice to see that place like this. Never would have imagined it in all my years."

They were standing in front of the ruins of what was once Grimmauld Place.

Sirius gave a heavy sigh, sweeping his hair out of his face. He kicked a strewn piece of rubble into the yard and gave a sort of weak laugh.

"Remus still hasn't found Pettigrew. Or Bella, for that matter. He's trying so hard to do what he can for the Order. But, Harry, it'll be so nice to get my hands on that rat once and for all."

Sirius faced him, face solemn.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. For everything. If it weren't for me, this-"

A feeling of hot anger filled Harry's chest and he cut Sirius short.

"No, Sirius. None of this is your fault. It's Pettigrew's fault. And Voldemort. And Bellatr-" Harry couldn't bring himself to utter her foul name.

Sirius grabbed Harry into a tight embrace.

"You're such a good kid, Harry. I'm so proud of you. And I know that James and Lily would be proud of you, too. Soon, we'll get to him. He'll pay for your parents, pay for Remus and me. He'll pay for you. He'll pay for all the things he ever did to us."

Harry held on as tight as he possibly could, savouring one of the last moments that he would be able to ever do this.

They arrived back at the house when the sun set, the sky still pink from the setting orange sun. Remus was bent over papers at the den desk and the entire house smelled of wonderful food. The meal was delicious and the three of them were filled to the brim.

After cleaning up the rest of the kitchen, Harry felt the drowsy pull of sleep and he excused himself for bed. When he closed his door, he shed his clothes and climbed into the soft, inviting sheets of his bed and he nearly fell asleep at that moment.

Just when the darkness finally settled over in his mind, there was a shift in the room. Opening his eyes slightly, Harry could see Sirius and Remus quietly make their way through the door. Pretending to be asleep, Harry lay very still and wondered what was going on.

A strong hand rested on his brow and brushed his hair back. It was very comforting, and he soon was drifting off to sleep again. He didn't hear the soft whispers from the two men, or the door closing quietly as they left. He didn't hear them clamber into their own bed where they fell asleep leaning into one another lovingly, but he did feel the heavy love that only parents have for their child.


	9. Dealing Through Dreams and Memories

A.N./ I know, I know. How long has it been? Please don't say. You'll make me feel bad. Anyway, here is the next chapter. I was lying awake last night, watching Harry Potter and this came to mind. I also owe this first part to Laura (apparently I sleep talk and walk, so here is a little piece of me in Sirius). I hope you guys like it; and of course, always review!

Chapter 9: Dealing through dreams and memories

When Harry walked into the study, he could hear Sirius' whimpering all around the room. The man lay on his back with his neck arched and eyes clenched in pain. His hands twitched and his knees jerked, as if he were trying to fight an invisible force around him. He cried out once, then twice before settling into whimpers again. For a brief moment, Harry was afraid that godfather was dying.

He started to run over to the couch, but a hand caught him and pulled him back. Turning sharply, Harry was silenced by Remus' hand over his mouth.

"Let him get through this. This is the only way he's going to work with it," the man whispered urgently, letting him go.

The two stood there, watching Sirius flail about. Harry watched Remus grimace each time Sirius uttered a word or a whimper. Harry watched him wince as a jut of elbow flew and hit the cushions around the writhing man.

Sirius thrashed against the couch one final time before stopping abruptly. Harry let out a breath that he had not known that he had been holding and his head felt light. He felt Remus relax beside him also, before-

"It's white!" Sirius cried out, lurching forward off of the couch.

Both Harry and Remus stood there for a few moments, stunned, staring at Sirius who sat up with perfect posture. Remus finally cleared his throat.

"Is there something wrong, Padfoot?" Remus said, his voice shaking.

Sirius turned his head in their general direction, squinting his eyes without opening them. He opened his mouth, and then closed it, like a fish out of water. He did this once more and let out a great huff.

"Fine!" He grumbled before flopping down on the couch again, asleep.

The silence rung in Harry's ear as the panic that gripped his chest loosened and dropped into his stomach. Remus let out a _whoosh_ of air from his lungs, and he leaned against Harry with a slight chuckle. The laughter became contagious and Harry let out a few breathes of laughter.

Remus took him by the shoulder after they were sure that Sirius wouldn't have another fit, and led him out into the hall. Harry turned to him the minute the door was shut.

"What was going on in there?" Harry asked, slumping against the wall. He suddenly felt very tired from the stress. He had been so afraid that Sirius had been dying. Where would he be if his godfather died when he had just only been able to see him again? Harry shivered, banishing the thought from his head.

"He … Well, the only times that he faces his life is in his sleep, if that makes any sense." Remus said weakly, loosening his shirt nervously.

"Actually, that really doesn't make much sense at all. Sorry," Harry said, smiling up at his professor.

Remus smiled back, rubbing a hand to his face. "How's this? We have a cup of tea, to release the tension, and maybe then I can explain better."

Harry nodded and pushed off of the wall to follow him.

When the pair walked into the kitchen Harry sat down in one of the wobbly chairs, folding his hands over the wooden surface of the table. Remus filled the small kettle, setting it on the oven, and took two mugs off the shelf. He made sure that the temperature on the stove was just right, then sat down across from Harry.

"I've noticed," inquired Harry, "that you do a lot of things the muggle way."

Remus smiled, cupping his hands around the cool porcelain of his mug. "My father was a muggle and he never really got used to me doing magic. I guess I keep these ways to remember him by.

"He died at a very young age, you see. I was eighteen when it happened. He had been down in the village where we lived and a few people were causing a fuss. I later found out that it was a group of wizards on a werewolf hunt and they had obtained information on where to find me, among many others like myself.

"They found my father and beat him until finally cursing him for letting a monstrosity live as his son. Ministry workers found his body in an abandoned home after my mother filled a report over his disappearance. I had just left Hogwarts and I was living with Sirius.

"I hadn't even the time to change my address. If I had reported back to the Registry days earlier, none of it would have happened. Both Sirius and I could have taken them, but my father was defenseless without any magic. They say that he never breathed a word of where I was, though. He … He was a very honorable man," Remus finished wistfully.

Harry couldn't find the words, but then Remus did it for him.

"I suppose that we have all gone through our share of pain."

They sat there in silence with Remus staring down into his cup and Harry leaning back in his chair, readjusting his glasses. The kettle sang shrilly and Remus clambered up to quiet it, as not to wake Sirius. He poured them their fill and sat again with Harry.

Remus took a sip of his tea, sighed, and leaned into the table. "Sirius doesn't talk about what happened in Azkaban. He refuses to say a word, or make any mention pertaining to the subject. He had twelve years to practice guarding himself, he's not going to break that habit any time soon.

"If that's the case, then the only thing to do is to …"

"… face it in his dreams," Harry finished.

Remus smirked. "Quite precisely, Harry."

He took a gulp of tea, cringing slightly in pain from the scalding liquid. "Even before Sirius went to Azkaban, he was a heavily guarded person. I would bet that his family, namely his mother, pushed him into such a state. He never could show who he really was. Your father, Peter, and I were the only ones that saw his true self," he chuckled, "and even those were rare times."

He swished his tea in his mug, looking pensive. "He came out at night, though. He is a very attentive person, you know. He would know whenever any of us would be ridden with nightmares … Especially me. He would tell me stories of himself. He would share with me his joy, his pain. It was times like those that we knew, even if we didn't voice it at the time, that we were made for the other.

"He told me that even before time began that he was molded for me. And I for him. The way that James was molded for Lily, and the same."

Harry let escape a small smile. "I never knew that Sirius could be so poetic ..."

Remus laughed then, a strong and hardy laugh. One that let all of the pressure in his chest relax. "That is exactly the point."

Remus got up then, rummaging through the draws for a box of biscuits. When he retrieved the small box of chocolate butter crackers, he offered Harry a few.

"What was it like when Sirius was taken away?" Harry asked, dipping the cookie into his cooling tea. He didn't look up, fearing that he had gone too far.

"It was the hardest thing that I ever had to experience, Harry."

Harry looked up then, and saw the werewolf's jaw clenched and his eyes dark.

"It felt … as if I was being torn apart. I woke up that morning to find that my best friends were all dead to me; and I had to learn it through The Prophet. Everyone in the wizarding world was reading about how the only people I loved were dead.

"I counted Sirius dead because this was not the Sirius I knew. My Sirius would never have … never betrayed his," Harry was startled to hear Remus' voice break.

"You don't have to –"

"No, Harry. It's fine," he said, taking a shivering breath. After taking a few seconds to compose his breathing structure again, he continued.

"I went from job to job, having to quit or be fired because of my condition. I dragged through it for a few years, sinking lower than I ever had before. My mother left behind in her will the cottage I lived in as a boy so I lived there for most of the time. For weeks on end I would just stay there, slowly becoming a recluse. The only times I would venture out would be to Register myself and occupy a few jobs through the years to pay bills.

"When Dumbledore offered me the position as a professor, I had finally found something I would enjoy. I had tutored the subject for a bit of money over the years, and it was my best class at school.

"Then I had a purpose in this world. And you were a part of that purpose, Harry," he said with a sad smile, holding Harry's gaze. "When I promised Lily and James I'd protect you, I held that promise close to me. And that will never stop."

Harry felt his eyes water and he averted his stare to his now nearly empty cup. "So, you didn't see anyone while he was gone?" Harry asked, trying to steer the subject away from himself.

"See someone? Oh, you mean … be with someone?" He questioned, tilting his head to the side in a quizzical gesture.

Harry nodded his head, downing the rest of his cold tea.

Remus' eyes squinted ever so slightly, as if confused for a second, until, "Harry, I never will be able to find anyone that could ever take Sirius' place. Never, until the day I die. Past, present, or future. And I think he feels the same way."

Harry felt the sting in his cheeks at the idiocy of his question. It was completely inappropriate and, well, stupid of him to ask. Harry cleared his throat, searching his brain for something else.

"Register." He said abruptly.

"Pardon?"

"Register. You said you would leave to Register yourself. What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, well … Every werewolf has to report to the Werewolf Registry where we are inspected and updated," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Updated? That sounds a bit … off. What do you mean you're up-"

"Branded, Harry," he finished, his voice deadpan. Remus reached back and loosened his color a bit, beckoning him over.

Hesitantly, Harry set his mug down and slowly walked over to Remus' side of the table. Holding his breath, he leaned in to look at the exposed skin above the worn collar. Just behind a brush of tawny hair and across the knob of bone were bold black numbers, etched into the flesh.

**71147**

Harry stood there in utter disbelief. "They never said anything about this in our textbook."

Remus scoffed, "Of course they wouldn't."

Harry closed his gaping mouth and let out a breath. When Remus turned to him, Harry swore that he had never seen him look this old. And his heart clenched for him. For Remus, for Sirius, for his father and mother …

"It wasn't fair for any of you," Harry said, voice beginning to waver. "This should never have happened to you, or anyone. It just …"

Remus stood and wrapped Harry in his arms. The werewolf's lean chest was stronger than it looked and his arms were warm and inviting. Harry felt tears brim his eyes, and he buried his face into the man's shoulder to expel them.

"Harry … When you were born, it was like all of us had a son. You are James' son, but both Sirius and I have always felt that you were our own also. No matter the hardships that life should throw at you, please understand that we will always accept you … as our son."

_And_, thought Harry as the tears finally overflowed, _he truly means that_.

"What did you do to him, Remus?" came a voice from the doorway.

Harry recoiled, wiping his eyes dry with his sleeve. He didn't want himself to get that far, but as he surveyed Lupin out of the corner of his eye he could see the tears on the man's face.

"Oh, just showing him some old battle scars," Remus said, rubbing his face with his palm.

Sirius smiled nervously, looking between them. "Okay, this is getting a bit too serious for my taste – and don't you say a word, Remus – so how 'bout we make lunch, eh?" Harry smiled and nodded, adjusting his glasses.

While Remus worked at the stove, Harry glimpsed Sirius leaning over and place a loving kiss on the back of his neck, just where the black numbers resided. A shiver ran through the tall, thin man and Harry could see the blush run through his cheeks. Remus withdrew, swatting at him playfully and they both laughed.

Remus went over to the cupboard, pulling out plates and a loaf of bread while Sirius magiced them out of his hands. Remus looked disgruntled, but didn't complain.

Sirius smiled at him sweetly, turning to Harry. "Would you mind getting the meat out of the fridge, Harry?"

Harry complied automatically, trained after the many years of instructions from the Dursleys: Do this, do that, clean the windows, iron the wash … But when one them would ask Harry to pass the mustard or throw a piece of rotten lettuce away, there was softness in the requests.

Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would never ask him, "Would you like a bit more tomato, Harry? You can have this piece." Remus would elbow Sirius' side when he would try and steal a piece of meat from Harry, causing Sirius to sputter indignantly but he could see it was in all fun and games. They finally finished their sandwiches and happily sat down to feast.

Sirius and Remus were apparently content with their lives, even after years of being separated, thought Harry as he watched them as he chewed on a tough piece of meat. Sirius grinned over at Harry as he took a huge bite out of his sandwich. They molded themselves together, their hearts and souls, even when faced the toughest trials and tribulations. Most of all, they were stronger for it.

And what made Harry so elated was that no matter how sturdy a unit they were, they were hoping to open a gap for him to be a part of their hearts.

Finally, after everything he had gone through, Harry knew then that he had found his family.


	10. Hidden Memories

A.N./ A lot of things have been going on, so I haven't really been able to write for a while, but here it is! Took a while, I know, I know … Yet, if you like it, review! Thanks to all of those who enjoyed and reviewed on the Dream story, and I hope you'll be kind enough to review for this, also.

I dedicate this chapter to Elizabeth Tears, who has found happiness, and is the best damn beta there is! I've grown to really become her friend, I believe, and I'm so very happy that she has found her happiness in this world. Thank you for giving me hope, if you're reading this Lizzy. I love you for that.

Chapter 10: Hidden Memories

Padfoot was sleeping on the rug at Remus' feet when Harry walked into the room. Harry had woken an hour before, but he stayed in bed, thinking about things. How these two people were his parent's best friends and how what it will would be like to have to go back to living without them. He had finally grown comfortable with the couple, but he would soon have to leave. He realized how much that scared him. What did he have left to go back to?

Remus looked up from his book and smiled at the boy in the doorway. "Good morning, Harry. Did you sleep well? You were in there for a while."

"Oh. Fine, fine. What are you doing today?" Harry said, sitting next to him. Padfoot grumbled in his sleep, twitching a paw. Remus nudged him with his foot until he woke with a disgruntled huff.

"Well, I was planning to catch up on some reading. Maybe have this one…" he nudged Padfoot again, "… do some cleaning. Would you like to help?"

"Sure, I guess. Where do you need the help?"

"We haven't been up to the attic in a while," Remus said thoughtfully, setting his book down. "It might be fun, actually. I think that James' old trunk is still in there. I haven't looked at that in a long time," he said finally, a whimsical look clouding his eyes. "It'll do us all good, I think."

Sirius changed then, still curled on the floor. He stood and stretched, yawning once before looming over the two on the couch. "You're not going to make me do any hard, strenuous work, are you?" He asked, giving them the eye.

Remus laughed, standing too. He clasped a hand to Sirius' shoulder, shaking him slightly. "We wouldn't want our dear Padfoot to strain anything, now would we? You're such a lazy ponce."

"Oi," Sirius cried, "I'm no ponce, you … ponce!"

"Nice, Sirius. Now, you can first help by getting your arse up those steps." With that, Remus shoved the other man towards the door turning to wink at Harry.

The attic was dusty and in great need of a cleaning. When the three men made their way across the heavy wooden floors, patches of dust rose, causing them to cough and sneeze. In fact, it seemed a bit too much for Remus' sensitive nose.

"I think I'm going to have to back out of this one. I don't," he gave a tremendous sneeze, "think I can do this. Maybe I can work," another sneeze erupted from the thin man, causing him to almost topple over with the force, "in the kitchen, or something."

"That might be best, Remus." Sirius said, looking alarmed at his current state. "Will you be all right?" He made a movement toward the other man, but Remus held up his hand to stop him.

"No, I'll be just fine. Just need some fresh air. Sorry, gents." He waved them off, wished them luck, and made his way down the stairs.

Harry looked around the tattered room, brushing a cloud of dust from the air in front of him. It was a beautiful day outside, so the sunbeams shining through the small window caught the dust particles flying around like small fairies floating about. It wasn't a very large room, more like a large alcove, so it only held a few things. Two chests sat in one corner and a dresser in the other while boxes littered the rest of the space. It wouldn't take them but more than the afternoon to clean, but they set off immediately.

The two shuffled around, placing boxes in neat stacks so that the room was more spacious and they could move around easier. An hour passed before they were finished with this one task, but that was because Sirius would stop to tell stories about James and Lily as he would find miniscule things here and there that brought back the memories he thought he had lost.

Sirius picked up one of his last boxes, brushing some dust off of the top, and opened it cautiously. Shuffling the things around a bit, he laughed and lifted something out of it. "Hey, Harry! Look at this."

Harry moved closer, looking at the object in his godfather's hands. It was a stuffed black dog, no bigger than a small loaf of bread, with dull button eyes. It was worn and obviously well loved once. The button nose seemed to be missing and pieces of thread were protruding from its tiny, plush body.

"What is it?" Harry asked, taking it from him gently. It was very soft in his hands, and for some odd reason it brought him comfort instantly.

"This was our first Christmas present for you. Remus' mother made it, and we gave it to you together. Hagrid found it and returned it after … well." Sirius said this with soft eyes, his voice oddly thick. "You would always carry it around when you were small."

Harry smiled, and gave it back to him, but Sirius shook his head and stopped him. "You have it, Harry. It's yours after all."

Harry nodded, looking down at it. He stroked its head with his thumb, enjoying the soft fabric. He imagined a smaller version of himself, tugging it around, crying for it, sleeping with it. He set it aside and they continued to shove through the boxes.

When they were finished with their first task, Sirius stepped back, admiring their handiwork. He looked over to the corner, spotting the trunks. Motioning Harry over, they took a seat in front of the first one. There were initials, and it wasn't hard for Harry to guess who it had belonged to.

Sirius couldn't hold the grin from his face once the lid was lifted from James' old trunk. He sifted through some papers and Harry read them as notes. Ones that were passed in class, asking things like, "What about that prank yesterday? I've never seen Snivellus fall so quickly!" and "Kitchen raid after detention? Probably won't let out 'til midnight …"

Harry held pieces of a past that he could not understand, but it felt like his life all the same. Sirius tossed a scarf at Harry, hitting him in the face. He held it out in front of him and found that it was an old Gryffindor house scarf, and despite the attic being a bit stuffy, he wrapped it around his neck and took in the wooded, airy scent that must have once been his father. He felt tears at the back of his eyes, but he bit them back for a moment and watched Sirius gasp and chatter about some note or a piece of past memorabilia.

Just when Sirius was pulling out another quill or note, the two were interrupted by Remus calling up to them. "Do you want some lunch? It's noon!"

Sirius sighed, placing some things back, and nodded to Harry. "Must be off, then. You hungry?"

Harry shook his head, "No, not just yet. You think I can stay up here for a bit longer so I can look at things?"

Sirius smiled and ruffled his hair. "Sure. I'll tell Remus. Come on down when you're ready."

When he was gone, Harry continued looking through his father's old trunk, setting aside a few things so that he could ask questions to either of them. Small things like a broken quill and a torn old cloak with a huge patch of pink on one of the shoulders.

He fingered a picture of his dad with his young mother, her fiery hair blowing in the wind as they grinned happily and waved. They looked so carefree, not knowing what lay ahead of them, and not caring either.

A man ran into the frame, chased by another, and Harry recognized them as Remus and Sirius. Sirius tackled James in the side and Remus lifted Lily, spinning her around. The group laughed, rightful couples eventually gravitating toward the other. James took his young bride in his arms, dipped her, and kissed her passionately as Remus obviously made catcalls and Sirius fainted a swoon.

Harry laughed at their silent antics and moved on to the next few items. He shortly reached the bottom of the trunk, stretching high into the air and heard his bones crack. He wasn't very hungry, but he got up to leave anyway. Just as he made it to the door, he turned and saw the other trunk in the corner. It lay just in the shadows, hidden behind the one of his father's. Walking back warily, he sat down again and moved toward it.

The initials read that it was once Remus' but when Harry opened it, not only did he find things that had belonged to his professor but also to his godfather. There was a set of books bearing Sirius' name, and Remus' old cloak, a small bundle of bandages, and an emerald velvet pouch with a white glowing stone.

Plenty of notes and pictures scattered the inside. A blush crept to Harry's cheeks as he opened a suggestive note asking where they would meet after dinner and picked up a picture of the two standing together in the boy's dorm. One of the pictures captured them sitting on a bed, legs entangled, arms wrapped around the other, and foreheads touching. More scandalous and intimate notes and photos lay ahead of Harry, but the moment he saw them he'd push them aside, sputtering embarrassedly.

Rubbing his cheeks, as if to discard the scarlet rush, Harry grinned at the ceiling despite himself. He was glad that his parents were happy once. He was glad that his godfather and old professor were too.

After looking through another book, Harry set it aside to find a box at the very bottom. It wasn't a very large box, but it was certainly heavy. After examining it, he lifted the lid and found, to his astonishment, that it was a Pensieve. Curiosity flared inside of him, and Harry stomach dropped. He wasn't sure if it was Sirius' or Remus', considering the two both had things in there.

Harry thought that it had to be Sirius' since Remus didn't own as much money as he did. Finger's twitching, Harry couldn't fight the need to find out what Sirius would keep in his Pensieve. Memories of Azkaban, of when he was on the run …

Taking a gulp of air, with his heart pounding in his chest, Harry leaned forward into the chest. Holding his breath, be placed his hands on either side of the Pensieve and fell face forward into it. The familiar sensation of tipping over flooded him and he couldn't tell where he was for a moment. A shrill scream caused him to stumble back, and with a sickening feeling, he looked around and recognized where he was instantly.

He was standing in Sirius' old bedroom in Grimmauld Place. He saw Sirius sitting on his bed, clutching at his chest but his face held up and defiant, while his mother loomed over his, holding a few pieces of parchment. A boy stood at the door, grinning evilly as he tossed his shining black hair out of his eyes.

"I said what is this rubbish?" Mrs. Black yelled, face red and wild.

"It's none of your damn business, you old witch. They are not your letters, so give them back," Sirius, who was probably sixteen, said through gritted teeth. He shot the boy, most likely Regulus, in the doorway a nasty look, but Mrs. Black caught his attention in the crudest manner.

With a swift blow, she had struck him across the face, causing him to hit the bed. Regulus' smirk left his face and he backed away. Mrs. Black grabbed up a motionless Sirius by the back of his head, gripping his hair and pulling his face to meet hers. He hissed in air through his teeth, but he opened his eyes, staring at her with a sort of fearful pride on his face. A spot of blood trickled from his mouth.

The venom in her voice made the hair on the back of Harry's neck to stand on end, and he nearly stumbled back. "I will not have you writing letters to this boy. Ever again. You will never see him again, so help me. I will not have a freak living under my house or carry our noble name. Cut all ties with him, this instant!" She roughly dropped him, causing him to fall back against the bed again.

Silence rung in the air and everyone stood motionlessly. "Well. What do you have to say about this filth?"

Sirius slowly stood, anger searing in his eyes, his face dark. Face to face with his mother he grabbed the parchments out of her hands, gave her one last nasty look, and spat blood on her elegant dress. Pushing past her, he tucked the letters gently in his robes and moved to the door. He looked down at his brother, and he opened his mouth to say something. He seemed too furious to say anything, though, and he shoved around him, leaving them.

Stunned, Harry barely noticed the scene changing around him. Looking around, he saw that he was standing in another, yet different, darkened bedroom. In the center of the room, two lay in a full sized bed, breathing softly. Sirius lay flush against Remus' back, hand over the other man's chest, their legs intertwined, and face pressed into the tawny hair. Harry was about to look away when Sirius moved, rising slowly on his shoulder.

He softly untangled himself from the werewolf, and dressed quietly. When he walked over to Remus' side, he knelt by his face and smiled sadly. He brushed the hair from his face and ran his hand down his cheek. Sirius' face twisted in pain and a tear ran down into his lips.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. God, I can't believe that I could have thought you were the traitor," He didn't speak for a long time, too over come with emotion. He just sat there, staring into the other man's face.

"I just wanted to spend another night with you, but I don't think that I'll return. If I don't, know, forever, that I love you. I didn't want to cause you so much pain, but I always seem to." He leaned in and kissed Remus' brow, holding back a sob.

He stood then, and looked down at the sleeping form again. A whimper escaped him. "It was Peter. My god, Remus, it was Peter …"

Harry shivered and looked away, but when he looked back the room had changed again. He was now standing in a cell. A prison cell. He didn't want to see, but he was compelled to. Sirius, so much older now with raged hair and gaunt features, sat in the corner and stared out into the distance. He grabbed his knees and pulled them against his thin chest.

Pressing his chin to the top of his knees, he closed his eyes and sighed. For a moment, there was peace and a small smile tugged at his lips. But as soon as it surfaced, there was a chill in the air and Harry shuddered. A dementor floated in the bared doorway of the cell and drifted in. Sirius crawled back, scrabbling away and clutching the wall. Harry also shot back, getting as far back as he could from the cloaked figure. His teeth clattered as he watched in horror as it glided toward his whimpering godfather.

"No!" Sirius screamed. "No! Please, please, please … James! God no! Lily! Harry!"

The dementor moved in toward him, covering him from Harry's view completely, but that didn't drown out the screams. Just when Harry thought that he could take no more, he felt a firm, warm hand on his shoulder pulling him back. Falling back, he tumbled back onto the dusty floor of the attic.

Sirius and Remus were standing above him, helping him to his feet. He opened his mouth, but he couldn't think of anything to say. Remus passed him and started cleaning things around the trunk, but Sirius just stood there. His arms were crossed his chest, but he didn't look angry or upset. Bewildered, confused, a bit curious, but not angry.

"What did you see?" He said quietly.

Tears caught in Harry's throat and he suddenly couldn't say anything even if he wanted to. He shook his head and he lowered it, his glasses nearly falling off. He heard Sirius sigh, and he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. Remus closed the trunk, and ushered them out.

"How 'bout that lunch, eh Harry?" Remus said softly, pushing the two out the door and down the stairs. Harry nodded dumbly and the three of them walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

No one said anything about it for the rest of the day, but when it was time for bed Sirius asked Harry if they could talk privately. Both were all ready for bed, so Harry led them into his room, were he sat on the bed, waiting for the blow.

Sirius mumbled something to himself when he closed the door and turned to Harry. He sighed and sat down next to him, staring at his knees. "I don't know exactly what you saw, but I only ask for you to keep it between us. I've never told Remus about some of the things that you could have seen, and I wish for that to remain how it is."

"I understand," Harry said. "And I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. It wasn't my place to intrude, but I …"

"Harry. What's done is done. I have that Pensieve so that I won't have to remember those things. I'd rather not talk about them, so we can drop it. You're young, and I would have done the same thing at your age."

Harry nodded, and Sirius smiled. "Just, don't say anything to Remus. Okay?"

"Yes," Harry said.

Sirius got up, patted him on the head, and walked to the door. "Goodnight, Harry. Sleep well."

Just as he was about to leave, Harry stopped him. "If you don't mind me asking, why don't you want him to know?"

Sirius stood at the door, hand on the frame. "Those memories would hurt him, just as much as it hurt me once. They're things that are not fundamental for him to know, and I love him too much to see him witness them. I had hoped the same for you, but I should have known you were more clever than that." He chuckled then. "You really are just like James."

Harry got into bed, pulling the covers over him. "Thanks Sirius," he didn't know exactly why he said it, but he couldn't find anything else. "Goodnight."

Sirius smiled. "Goodnight, Harry."


	11. The Mysterious Book

A.N./ Never would I have thought that this would come so far. The book strikes back in this chapter, if that grabs your attention. Anyone? Also, mad props to my main register girl, Lizzy! Where would I be without her to beta this for me?

So, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and possibly review! I need them so I can get through summer reading … Jane Austin. Why? Why, I say! Once again, please review.

Chapter 11: The Mysterious Book

Harry woke to the sound of thunder and the flash of foreboding lightning. His room held a sickly glow as the mist built up around the house and clouded the glass of his window. Harry turned toward his beside table, reaching blindly for his glasses. Once his fingers clasped around the smooth, thin, rims he placed them on and looked around, stretching. He started to get out of bed when something caught his attention.

On the nightstand sat the little plush dog. Harry studied it over for a moment then picked it up, marveling once more at how soft and worn it was. It no longer held traces of dust like the other day in the attic. It looked as if someone had brushed it off. He held it close for a moment, thinking about the time spent in making it, and the love he had once felt for it as a child.

He set it down on his pillow and lifted out of bed. The thunder rolled again, causing him to stop on his way out of the door. It wasn't raining just yet, but it was soon on its way. That meant another day spent in doors. What could that bring? The house was clean, the chores finished. What could they possibly do?

It didn't seem to matter, Harry thought finally. Tomorrow would be his last day to spend with his godfather and old professor, and he still had unanswered questions. He also wanted to savor his time with Sirius. He had grown fond, even attached, to them and he truly felt like he was a part of their family. Not only as individuals but as a couple. After spending so much time learning more about their pasts had enhanced his respect for them both men. They had become people he could truly look up to and trust, even more so than before. It was as if he had gained two fathers.

As for them together, however modest they may be, at least around Harry, they seemed very happy. Being used to the Dursely's relationship, it was hard for Harry to see a couple so close and actually content with each other. Molly and Arthur were a very loving couple, but they were usually apart on business … Yet, Sirius and Remus had something else. Something of a deep connection that everyone was aware of. Harry was very happy for them and would miss their company.

Harry walked down the hall and into the kitchen where he smelled breakfast cooking. Remus stood at the stove, pan of eggs in his hand, while Sirius stood behind him with his chin on the other man's shoulder. Sirius, not aware of Harry's entrance, kissed his neck and nuzzled his nose against it once.

Remus growled softly but turned his head, spotting Harry in the doorway. He ribbed Sirius' side, and the two sprung apart. Sirius, wide eyed and a bit tousled from sleep, stood staring for a moment.

"Sorry, Harry," he said, moving a bit farther away from Remus. He looked positively guilty.

Harry shook his head, smiling faintly. "It's fine."

"Indeed," Remus said, placing the eggs on a plate of bacon. "Sirius, could you get the toast?"

Once the food was on the table, the three ate in silence with a few exceptions of thunderclaps. Sirius chewed on a piece of bacon and considered the window until rain started to hit the pane. He sighed, finishing his plate.

"What a boring day this will turn out to be," he said, pushing around the remaining eggs on his plate.

Remus swallowed his last piece of toast and took a gulp of juice. "Well, you'll just have to find a way to entertain yourself," he said, sounding a bit bored himself.

"What do you have planned?" Asked a disgruntled Sirius.

"I was going to do some paper work for the Order. There are things that have to be done."

Sirius huffed, furrowing his brow in thought. He glanced over at Harry, who getting up to put his plate in the sink. "What about you, little Pronsling? You're not going to stuff yourself in some books, too?"

"Actually," interrupted Remus, "he needs to get some of his summer homework out of the way. Don't you, Harry?" He said pointedly, getting up from the table also.

"Sure," Harry said, unable to control the disappointment in his voice.

"Remus …" Sirius whined. "You take all the fun out of summer break. You always have! 'Homework, studies, school.' One day you'll shrivel up and die over papers. I'll have to bury you with books in your coffin."

"Don't be so crude, Sirius. And I do not take all the fun out of summer!"

Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes to emphasize the audacity of Remus' advice of working during the break.

So, once again, Harry found himself in his room. He changed out of his nightwear and opened his trunk. Books stacked with papers lay ahead of him and he looked down on them. There was no reason for him to do his work, seeing as there would be no turning it in. Only Hermione would do her homework, even in this situation. Sighing, he sat on the floor, thinking of something to do.

Just then, Harry heard tapping on the window. Hedwig was perched on the sill, a letter strapped to her leg. When he opened it, she swooped in and landed on her post beside his desk. She ruffled her feathers and beads of water hit Harry's face as he moved toward her.

"I don't have any food now, Hedwig. I'll get you some later today, I promise." Harry said, relieving her of the letter, which didn't seem to be that wet. Hedwig nipped at his fingers as if to say, 'Well, fine then,' and swooped off and out of the window.

Sitting on the bed, Harry opened the letter and saw that it was from Ron. The Weasleys were doing fine at the moment, just laying low and keeping to themselves. The twins visited often, and were bringing over new merchandise from the shop for Ron to try out, which was brilliant, said Ron. Hermione was still there, complaining about homework and Ginny was still trying to get her interested makeup. "But there's no way that is going to happen anytime soon," said Ron in the letter.

Harry sighed, looking over the letter a few more times. Ron asked him to come as soon as he could and to write back, but Harry decided that he just wasn't going to write back. It wouldn't be important if he did because they wouldn't go through with the corresponding or visiting. Harry frowned then. He hadn't planned spending the remaining time with his godfather reading over letters and rotting away in his room.

He folded the letter and placed it on his desk. A bolt of lightning flashed outside and lit his room, teasing him as he walked out into the hall. Further down, he could hear muffled sounds coming from behind the cracked door to the couple's room.

"Come on, Remus!" Sirius whined again. "It's so boring today! There's nothing for any of us to do." Harry could see him pull at Remus from the back, burying his face into the other man's shoulder.

"No, Sirius. I have work to do," he said, trying to squirm away from him. His attempts looked half minded, though.

"You can do your work later, Moony." Sirius said, pulling at his middle and spinning him around. "If you can entertain me for ten minutes, I swear I'll be good and let you work."

Remus sighed, as if to think over the situation at hand. Finally, a deep growl escaped his throat and he leaned into what Harry recognized as a kiss, though he could no longer see their face from the door. They sat there in the kiss for several long moments until Remus pulled away, grinning. He pushed Sirius out of Harry's sight, smirking evilly as he followed. Feeling the embarrassed flush sting at his face and ears, Harry moved on to avoid the door.

When Harry stepped into the study he instinctively went straight to the bookshelf. The old book about werewolves had been taunting him for the past few days, and he finally had the time to look over it. Running a finger over the long spine, he pulled it out, and sat down in the desk.

He opened it to the middle of the book to a picture. The sketch was of a human hand with long fingernails in the shape of claws. On the heel of the palm was a fine tuft of light hair. The beds of the fingernails held a red rim, as if the fingers had been smashed in a door. Harry turned the page to a close picture of a pair of eyes. The pupils were large and the irises were bright amber. A shiver ran down Harry's spine. These must be signs of being a werewolf, Harry thought and he turned the pages further down.

He forgot exactly where he was in the book before he fell asleep the night he first looked through it, but as he skimmed through the pages and glanced over the sketches and photos he could tell that he was getting closer to where he had left off. Most of the pages were in Gaelic and Latin, but he read some of the translated notes on the side and felt sick to his stomach.

_(1644) Jake Osbert, bitten at the age of fifteen, was hunted down after a farmer caught him on a full moon devouring his chickens. The local townsfolk, in order to kill the beast, poured molten silver down his throat. The deadly mineral, coming in contact with his internal organs, caused his blood to boil and spill from his orifices such as his eyes, ears, and nose._

A separate note under the story read:

_Internal silver, death. External burns._

Further down, Harry found more notes regarding stories about individual werewolves, but Harry didn't think that he could continue to read them. When he opened the next page, a pressed dried flower fell from between. He picked up the small purple flower delicately and placed it on the edge of the parchment. There was a sketch of a long plant with many of the violet blossoms.

_Aconitum anglicum, Monkshood, Aconite - __  
__All parts of plant are poisonous if ingested by a human, but not to werewolves. Toxicity: Extreme. It has been reported to bring death to adults with doses of only 1 mg. Symptoms of human ingestion would include: high salivation, vomiting, difficulty in swallowing, arrhythmia, heavy breathing, and convulsions. __  
__The root of Aconite is highly poisonous and is the cause of death. __  
__Blue-violet colouring, this bloom thrives in the shade and darkness of night. Research into this part of the plant is being made by wizards all over the world. The bloom is the only known object to alleviate pain during a werewolf's transformation, but does not full stop it. __  
_  
Another separate note sat at the bottom of the page, reading:

_Main ingredient in Wolfsbane potion, 1988._

After a few more minutes of searching, Harry found the page he was looking for. A photo depicted a pack of wolves, if they were werewolves Harry could not tell. There were two at the lead, one large gray wolf proud and strong with another at his side. Harry recognized Lupin's familiar writing to the side, and read.

_Werewolves, like normal wolves, mate for life. There is no specific time when this mate is chosen, but is believed to be around the end of puberty, if the person inflicted with the curse is bitten at a younger age. The wizard or muggle bitten after this time frame chooses their mate at any opportune moment. Some werewolves, though, become loners and never choose a mate or a pack. _

_When a werewolf's mate dies, the wolf mourns until its own death. The werewolf's life is usually shortened by this grief and dies, not living long after the passing of the mate. The time ranges between werewolf to werewolf, but is roughly estimated to be around 4-5 years. Among the injection of silver into the bloodstream, severing the spine, and old age, this grief is one of the only know causes of death in a werewolf. __  
_  
Harry sat there, shell shocked at what he just read. If Sirius and Remus really were mates, then that meant that … Since Sirius died, Remus was also dying? Harry couldn't remember the professor grieving as the book said, but he wasn't around the man to tell. What if Remus was really dying? Slowly, yet surely, he was wasting away by every passing of the moon. Harry shuddered. What a horrible way to die.

"What are you doing in here, Harry?" Came a voice from the door and Harry jumped, slamming the book shut.

Remus stood at the door, adjusting his collar around his neck. He was looking first at Harry, then at the book in his hand, but made no move toward him. He asked the question again, but Harry only got up to replace the book.

"Nothing. Just trying to find a book for some extra information over monkshood. Snape's set an assignment to recap everything we've learned," said Harry, his hands trembling slightly and he gripped onto the shelf ledge to still them. He couldn't be caught now.

The old professor started at him then at the bookshelf. He looked disbelieving, but nodded to Harry. "That's fine, Harry. You just surprised me, is all."

Suddenly, Sirius came up from behind him, grabbing his waist roughly. He started to growl things into his hair, but stopped when he spotted Harry. "Mother of – Harry, I didn't see you," he said, pulling away from Remus for the second time that day.

Harry cleared his throat and said that it was all right, moving to the door. Once he was out in the hall, he felt Sirius following him and he turned around.

Sirius smiled, almost wearily. "Do you want to take a walk outside?" he asked, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.

"But, it's raining." Harry said, looking at him quizzically.

"Afraid of a little rain, Potter?" he said challengingly.

"No," said Harry, laughing despite himself and the situation he just encountered.

Sirius grinned and shoved his shoulder, running past him to the door out and out into the yard. Harry first stumbled over his feet, but soon caught up with him. When he reached the door he stopped to feel the rain that was light, almost misty, on his face.

Sirius was all ready out in the yard and waved him over. The ground was soft and muddy under his shoes and the air smelled musty as he saw the gray sky spread out for miles. Sirius waited for Harry to run up to him, but started walking as soon as he was there. They walked in silence for a very long time, listening for the crickets in the grass and the distant thunder in other clouds farther away.

"It's going to rain again, soon." Sirius said, shoving his hands in his pants.

Harry nodded, mimicking his godfather by pocketing his own hands. He stared out into the sky pensively, enjoying just being with Sirius. Suddenly, he remembered that by the end of tomorrow, all of this would be gone. He would have to wake up in Professor Dumbledore's office and back in the raging war. He sighed, walking a little closer to Sirius.

"Cold?" Sirius asked, considering the temperature by swishing his hand in the air.

"No, just … Never mind." Harry said, trying to sound casual.

"Oh," said Sirius, thinking. He smiled suddenly and threw an arm around Harry's shoulder, nearly knocking him over with the force. "You know, your father and I would walk in the rain after Quidditch matches. Much like this, you know. It would be after we'd won a game and your father would be bursting with energy. We'd race to the edge of the forest and walk back to the castle. In the end, Remus would have to come drag our sorry arses out of the rain and up to Madame Pomfrey."

Harry smiled, throwing his arm around Sirius' shoulder. "Tell me something else about my dad," Harry said, almost excitedly.

Sirius' eyes grew soft, and he gave a sort of watery smile, but continued to talk. "Well, when we made the mirrors that I gave you for Christmas last year, we used to come up with pranks to get out of our separate detentions. One time …"

But Harry wasn't listening. His thoughts turned to the mirror. The one that he smashed in a fit over his death, and Harry's stomach flipped sickeningly. He should have kept it. As something to remember Sirius by, or, at least, give to his grieving professor. Harry bit his tongue, cursing himself for being such a little prick about the whole situation.

He heard Sirius laughing, so he forced a smile and a slight chuckle, though he missed the entire story. Suddenly, Remus voice called over the distance, telling them to get in before they caught something.

"He's such a little dwarf housewife," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "Next thing, he'll be asking for an apron so he can prance around the house." He laughed, his long bark like laugh. Harry began to miss it all ready.

Sirius shook his head, turning them toward the house. "Don't tell him I said that. He may look thin, but he can pack a lot of damage. Say, I'm hungry. What would you like for a bite?"

At that precise time, the rain began to fall and the pair had to bolt toward the house where Remus stood, laughing and giving them a look that said, "I told you so." To retaliate, Sirius shot him a look that said, "You can go shove it," but Harry could see that his old professor was the victor.

The rest of the day was spent lounging around the house with Sirius convincing Harry to gang up on Remus, pulling old pranks. When it was time for bed, the couple bid Harry good night but Harry stayed awake, listening to the sounds of the house. The light pattering of rain began to lull him to sleep and he reached out for the plush dog. He cradled it close to his chest, too tired to care, and faced the door. He waited for the morning and his last day with his godfather.

A.N./ Yet another 10th Kingdom reference in here. I've got it on the brain ever since I brought it over to Laura's about two weeks ago. It's very small, but if you can get it there is a special prize! Hopefully something you'll enjoy. Speaking of enjoying, did you like the chapter? Tell me, if so.


	12. The Last Day

A.N./ First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed for the last chapter! I left for a vacation the day I submitted the chapter and I came home to such wonderful things that people had to say. Once again, thank you! It does my heart good to see them. Otherwise … I own nothing. That's a bit obvious. I hope you guys like this chapter. And if you do, please review!

Chapter 12: The Last Day

Harry woke early the next morning, and paced in his room until he heard Remus and Sirius awake and walking around the house. His night had been one where he was plagued with dreams, most of which he could not remember, and after which he would wake. After a while, he gave up and just lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

That morning they ate breakfast, simply observing the weather and talking about meaningless things. Harry listened to every word, watched every gesture. He soaked the moments up, storing them into his memories to keep until the day he died, or until this day ceased to exist.

Sirius would lift his spoon to his mouth, smearing porridge on his chin in a sleepy stupor. Remus would nudge him under the table and say something about how they should go outside that day. Sirius would make a funny face at him while Remus turned to lean over his bowl. Harry categorized everything.

After they were finished eating, they took a walk outside in the forest on the edge of the house. The sun was warm on Harry's neck and Sirius' arm would occasionally bump into him as he walked beside him, between Remus and himself. After a lengthy silence Sirius suggested that they have a mock Quidditch game, and for once Remus didn't object.

"It'd be good to do some exercising, I suppose," he mused, kicking a stone off the path.

"Of course it would, Moony. Are you up for it, Harry? Or do you think that you're just not good enough? We did play with James, after all," Sirius joked, winking.

Remus rolled his eyes and said reassuringly, "He just likes to think his bark is big enough. You really do fly like your father, Harry." Harry smiled thankfully, recalling the words spoken to him a long time ago. He used to feel close to his father when he was flying. It would only be natural for him to fly with the two men who were now as good as his fathers.

So, the three of them trudged to the little shed, grabbing their respective brooms. Holding the broom in his hand made the whole situation real to Harry for some reason. The familiar weight in his hands reminded him that this was it. This was his last day. 

Sirius pushed his shoulder playfully, shaking him out of his thoughts. "Race you up."

Harry grinned as he watched Sirius run off, flying up into the sky. Remus shook his head bemusedly but followed after him. Harry watched them, zooming from one side of the gray sky to the other in a game of tag. Harry's chest suddenly felt heavy. Yet when Sirius called after him, he flew up toward the two and he couldn't remember a time when he had felt so elated.

After lunch they sat in the study and Sirius told stories of when they were in Hogwarts. Harry listened to every story about his father. Every prank was recaptured and every joke retold. He would ask question after question and the two men answered without fault. 

"How did my parents start dating?" Harry asked, leaning back into the sofa chair with his feet curled under him.

Sirius smiled, looking drunk with happiness, and folded his hands behind his head while leaning against Remus. Remus tried to shrug him off but found that Sirius wouldn't budge. "James grew up, unlike this one here," Remus said with some effort as Sirius started to cover him entirely. Harry laughed as they struggled for a bit longer.

Remus finally was able to push him off, and Sirius apologized half-heartedly. "James grew up and Lily started to notice him in a more positive light," Sirius said, settling down into the cushioned couch.

"It was at the end of sixth year that she was actually civil to him, I believe," said Remus, looking over at Sirius questioningly. 

"That's right, because they kept sending letters to each other. All summer long. It was so bloody annoying, Harry," said Sirius, twisting his face into a sickened look. "It was like she put a coat of icing over James. He started getting all romantic and, 'Oh, should I bring her something when we go back to school?'" he said in a high pitched voice, batting his eyes ridiculously.

"He did flaunt it, just a bit. Even if he didn't notice it," said Remus. "She secretly loved him for it, and that's all that mattered to James."

"Then how did you two start dating?" Harry asked casually.

The two fell silent, their smiles fading but their faces retained a glow of happiness. Their eyes were more peaceful and just a bit embarrassed. "Well …" Remus said, but faltered.

Sirius took a breath, the air around them turning more sober. "After the incident with Snivellus, Remus wouldn't speak to me for a very ling time. He wasn't rude or anything, he just didn't want to … I don't know. He didn't want to be around me." Remus dropped his head, trying to avoid looking at Sirius.

"I soon found that I couldn't – what's the word? – function without him," Sirius said, starting to look flustered.

"And I him," interjected Remus, finally looking at him.

"So, I sent him a few letters over the summer of our sixth year, telling him what I thought," Sirius said, watching Remus carefully.

"Oh, the letters," whispered Harry, but shut his mouth immediately after.

Sirius gave him an odd look, but then understood. "So you saw that in the Pensieve, did you? Well, you know what happened with that." Harry avoided eye contact with both of them, discomfited and ashamed.

"After that, I admitted what I was feeling also and we started dating," Remus said, finally smiling. "Though, I don't know if you could necessarily call it that. We never went out on dates in school."

"We'd bring dinner to the dorm the nights that James was off with Lily doing Merlin knows what. We usually kicked The Bastard out. Those were nice little 'dates' for us." Sirius said, avoiding saying Wormtail's name.

Remus opened his mouth to say something about the new subject, but he refrained. "Yes, they were perfect."

The rest of the afternoon flew by and Harry found himself scrambling to catch the every moment. He tried to stay in the same room as Sirius constantly, not wanting to lose a second. A few times, Sirius suggested that he do some homework but hadn't the strength to pursue it. After dinner, they settled on playing a bit of wizard's chess.

Harry grinned stealthily, observing the remainder of their game. Sirius hissed in a breath and exhaled loudly in frustration. "Fine! You win. You happy now?"

"No, you still need to move Padfoot," Remus said, peeking over the book in his hand and giving Harry a wink.

"But it won't matter where I move! Either way, he has me cornered," he said, staring at the board, praying that there was some loop out of it.

After much hesitation, Sirius finally moved his knight into place where Harry proceeded to completely demolish it. Sirius glared at him as Harry cleaned up the board. Remus laughed at both of them. 

"If you think it's so funny, why don't you do it?" Sirius said, sitting back against the couch, legs splayed in front of him on the floor.

"Oh, I couldn't do that. I'd want young Harry to keep some of his dignity."

"Hey!" Harry said, laughing.

"He's just afraid that he'll lose to you. He's a little pansy, remember?" Sirius whispered to Harry behind his hand. Remus raised an eyebrow and shut his book.

"You asked for it." He said sadly, shoving Sirius away from the board.

At first, Harry found the game to be very easy but he soon became aware that Remus was letting him win. Sirius sat behind Remus, grinning and shaking his head. He tried making eye contact with Harry several times, but Remus would hit his shoulder, telling him to shut it.

Progressively, Harry's side of the board started to wane until he was left with only a few pieces. But, suddenly, Harry found just the place where he could win. Containing his excitement, he sat quietly and watched Remus make his move.

"So," his old professor said idly, moving his bishop next to Harry's knight where it was bashed in. "I saw that you were looking though my book yesterday. Tell me, Harry …"

- Their eyes met and Harry could see the flicker of amber, just the same as in the book, in his eyes and it sent a chill up Harry's spine, causing him to shiver. -

"… Did you find anything interesting?"

Harry couldn't take his eyes away and he gulped air. He knew that he had been caught the other day, but he had hoped that nothing would be said. Now, his stomach dropped out from under him as those eerie eyes penetrated anything that he could possible say to get out of the mess.

"It's your turn," Remus said, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Of course," said Harry, tearing his eyes away and moved a piece that he didn't give too much thought into. But, the moment that Harry lifted his fingers from the smooth wood of the chess piece he knew what had happened.

Remus grinned and Sirius let out a shout of triumph from behind him. "Checkmate."

"No!" Harry cried, staring at the board much like Sirius had earlier. He was trapped. No matter where he would move, he was defeated. 

Remus chuckled, getting up. He stretched hugely and yawned. He ruffled the top of Harry's head, messing his hair even more than it was. "Don't fret over it too much, Harry. James fell for the same trick."

"Every time!" Sirius laughed, pulling up a stunned Harry from the floor. He brushed him off and threw an arm around him. He yawned also and led Harry toward the door. "It is time to tuck in, don't you think mate?"

Not feeling in the least bit tired, Harry fought the impulse to say no and faked a yawn.

"Anyway, we finished up the last of our supplies. We need to go shopping for food before we run out," Remus said, turning off the lamp and closed the door to the study.

"Sounds like a plan," said Sirius, letting go of Harry.

The two bid Harry a good night, waving him off in the hall. Harry stood there as their door shut quietly and he listened to their muffled voices and rustling as they prepared for bed. After a while, the two were finally quiet and Harry went into his room, leaving the door open.

He climbed into his bed fully clothed, the covers thrown off of him. He turned and looked at the stuffed dog, trying to distract his thoughts. He tried closing his eyes, but that didn't seem to work. He just kept seeing Sirius falling through the veil. He kept feeling Remus' arms around him, restraining him from running after Sirius.

Then he'd see them how the were now. He could see them sneaking a kiss on the couch in the study; he could see Sirius kiss the back of Remus' neck where his mark from the ministry lay.

He sat up, looking around his dark room as if searching for a solution. He wanted so desperately to find a way to stop time, some way to spend more time in this house. He'd never felt so comfortable in one place – except for Hogwarts --, even in every awkward situations entailed by his knowledge of their relationship.

Harry, feeling absolutely restless and knowing fully well that he would not sleep that night, started to walk around his room. He tried to think of many different ways to try and calm himself, but his efforts were fruitless. Finally, he decided on getting a glass of water.

When he walked into the kitchen, he found, to his surprise, that an hour had passed from when the couple went to bed. He grabbed a glass of water and gulped it greedily. There had to be some way to have more time, thought Harry as he set his empty cup in the sink. Still not finding his answer, he started to make his way to his room. 

Just as he got to the end of the hall, he stopped at their door. He stood there for a few long moments, pondering. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible. The darkness of the room was warm and comforting, enveloping him, just as it had earlier that week.

They both lay on their sides, their backs facing each other. When Harry came close, Remus turned over, his nose nuzzling the back of Sirius' neck once and his arm wrapped tightly around the other man's chest, hand curled over his heart. In the dark Harry could barely tell which limb belonged to whom.

Quietly, Harry went across the room and dragged the wooden chair to his godfather's side. He sat there and watched them for a long time, listening to their deep, even breathes. Sirius stretched out his arm, as though he was reaching for Harry in his sleep. The muscles in his arm grew taut, flexing, then relaxed. Harry stared at the unmoving hand.

Feeling a lump in his throat, he reached out to it hesitantly. Fingers twitching slightly, he placed his hand over Sirius', feeling like a small child reaching out for his father. Yet, in a way, he was. Sirius turned his face upward and groggily opened his eyes. They were a dull gray from sleepiness, unlike his lively clear eyes. They looked almost dead.

"Harry?" He said, voice gruff. Harry nodded, his jaw tightening from the surprised emotion.

Sirius sighed loudly, the breath coming in a great whoosh. It even disturbed Remus, who buried his face into the billow behind Sirius' head, tightening his hold around Sirius' body. He closed his eyes and for a moment Harry thought that he had fallen asleep.

But he hadn't. He opened his eyes once more and he moved his hand from Harry's, patting it. "Harry … Go get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a big day." His hand ceased the slow, heavy patting and rested finally over Harry's fingers.

Harry felt tears sting at the back of his eyes, and he nodded even though he knew that Sirius was all ready asleep. Leaning awkwardly over his chair, he laid his head on the edge of the bed, careful not to remove his hand from under Sirius'. He watched Sirius' face, remembering every detail. He lost his father without getting the chance to actually see him; he wouldn't let the same thing happen with Sirius.

Soon, Harry couldn't keep his eyes open and he felt sleep tug at him. 

Tomorrow would be a very big day, indeed.

A.N./ So … here we go people. Review or I'll threaten to finish it here! … Or, just kidding. But no, really.


	13. Returning to Reality

A.N./ Well, to celebrate my finishing Pride and Prejudice (which really is a good book) for school, with or without my journals, I've decided to work on the story. Thank you, everyone, for reviewing! You didn't really think that I'd just drop it there, did you?

Anyway, I really hope that all of you enjoy the chapter. Not much left to go, I'm afraid, so let's make these last ones count. If you like what you see, let me know so I'm driven to write the rest.

Chapter 13: Returning to Reality

Harry blinked his eyes as they opened, adjusting his eyesight to the light around him. The air was different here. Nothing remained of the fresh scent of wood and dog. He could not feel the cotton sheets around him or the hand of his godfather's over his own. A hole right above his stomach began to throb and swell and he felt that he was going to be sick. Suddenly, he was aware of where he was and he jolted up in his seat.

"Take it easy, Harry. You'll topple over if not," said a familiar voice as a warm hand pressed down on his chest. He lay back once again, his head light and senses reeling. He blinked slowly once again, trying to remember what exactly had happened. He voiced this question and the familiar voice chuckled.

"It's a mixture of both magic and, what something Muggles call nitrous oxide, which caused you to sleep. You were in a state where you could see Sirius' wishes. Through his memories, even dreams, that he has left in his Pensieve, I was able to transport you into a different realm in a way." Professor Dumbledore said this with a sort of triumph and a hint of sadness. He sighed and sat next to Harry, who was rubbing his face gruffly with his hand.

Harry opened his eyes again, the spell starting to wear off. It was all too much for him to take and he felt the back of his brain strain with questions. He had just been with Sirius and Remus. How could he be here now? How was their life going to go on now? How was his?

The two sat there in silence for a very long time, mostly to let Harry adjust to everything and to let Dumbledore observe him with sad eyes. Harry, with clear vision now, look to his headmaster after a moment in thought. "Professor Lupin … And, Sirius. They were-"

"Yes, I know this, Harry," Dumbledore said, somewhat sadly. "I've known this for a long time."

"Then why didn't anyone tell me?" Harry asked, sitting up completely.

"It wasn't my place to tell you. Remus spoke to me with plans to tell you, but neither of them were ready. He has been informed of your … evening. He plans on being here in a few days. When he is here, I'm sure that both of you will be able to talk things through."

Harry felt his stomach flip. This was definitely not the best way to find more about one's godfather, but he had to know. Now Remus would be here and he would have to face all the truths that he had experienced. Would the professor be angry that he had delved not only into Sirius' life but his own in such a crude manner? Would he be relieved that Harry knew?

"They are both good people. You should already know that. Remus is still on a mission, but he owled me to say that he would be on his way the very moment he could." Dumbledore said, patting Harry's shoulder once, then stood. He whipped out his wand and began to make a pot of tea with just the teacups. A bitterness rose in Harry's throat as when Dumbledore spoke as if Sirius were alive, but he bit his words back. After all, the headmaster had done so many things for him. He hadn't the heart to be angry. Not anymore.

"Will … I mean, do you think that he will be upset?" Harry asked, feeling childish and small.

The headmaster shook his head, almost with a sense of amusement. He handed him his cup and sat at his desk. "He was surprised, I'm sure, Harry. Angry, I would think not. After all the years I've known the man, I have never once encountered a situation where he was truly angry."

"I went into their life. I saw things that neither of them had wanted me to know. I barged in on everything," Harry said this with his cheeks red and hot, trying not to fumble over his words.

"But now you understand everything. He wanted you to know what you know now. Harry, the man has now suffered one loss too many. And they were the very people he held most dear. He can now find comfort in your knowledge."

Harry opened his mouth to retaliate, but stopped short. That was correct. Now that Harry knew exactly how close the two were he and his old professor would be able to console each other. He was suddenly reminded about after Sirius had fallen through the veil. How much it had visibly hurt Remus. Yet he still went on, acting as if the entire thing hadn't happened.

And there was Harry, acting the right prat. While he sulked around, the other man had to suffer his pain in silence. He had even reached out to Harry, tried to help him with the letter he had sent yesterday. And what did he do? He had thrown the letter in the fire. The hole in his stomach opened a few more spaces.

After the two finished their tea in silence, Dumbledore escorted Harry out of the office. Harry was too overwhelmed to talk with him and he barely noticed that he was walking down to the hall outside the office. As he made his way to the dorm he hardly registered that there were no people who passed him. It wasn't until he got into the dorm that he noticed that it was dark outside, and very late.

Once he set foot in the dorm, Ron and Hermione bombarded him. "Where have you been?" They asked in unison, looking very worried.

"Harry, are you all right? You look awful," said Hermione, looking at him then over to Ron for help. He agreed, asking if he wanted to sit down.

"You've been gone all day, mate. You didn't even tell us."

Harry took a deep breath, assuring them that he was fine and informing them of where he had been. He told them what had happened, of Sirius and Remus and how they were once together. The only thing that he did not tell them, in fact, was about what he had learned about werewolves. That, he thought, would be a bit too much for them to handle.

Ron didn't necessarily seem irritated, just embarrassed and shocked. Harry would know otherwise and he was glad to see that his friend wouldn't think differently than himself. "So, they were …" Ron faltered, red in the face.

"Lovers." Hermione finished in a quiet voice, looking off into the distance. "That is horrible, now that Sirius …" It was her time to falter, looking at Harry questioningly. She was trying to avoid being yelled at once again, and that made Harry feel worse.

"Look Hermione, I'm sorry that I blew up at you yesterday. I didn't mean the things I said. Yours and Ron's opinions matter more than anyone else's. Plus, you are one of the smartest witches around. I'm glad to have you help me all the time. I don't know where I'd be without either of you two." Harry said, avoiding their eyes.

Hermione smiled warmly. "That's fine, Harry. We know that you have a lot to deal with."

"Even if you were acting like a prat," Ron said, grinning. He pushed the side of Harry's head when Harry's expression fell. "I think you've gone soft. You might just have been around them a bit too much," teased Ron.

"Ron!" Hermione said indignantly. "Just because they were together doesn't mean that they were … soft. You knew them. You even looked up to them. Professor Lupin is the same person then he ever has before."

"I was just kidding, Hermione. Why do you have to always be so uptight?" Ron said, rolling his eyes at her.

Hermione began to tell him how wrong he was, but Harry remembered something about his experience. "Ron? Hermione? Is there something that you need to tell me?" He asked slyly, looking back and forth at them both.

"What are you getting at, Harry?" Hermione asked quizzically. Ron looked the way Hermione sounded and he sat back in the couch next to Hermione, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

"I mean, when I … Well … You two aren't doing things together, are you?" Harry asked, now embarrassed at how far he would have to take this.

"I have no idea what you're … Wait," Hermione looked at him, wide eyed. Her cheeks turned bright red and a proud, defiant look crossed her face through her own incredible embarrassment.

Ron looked between them, confused. "What are we doing?" He asked. "I don't understand what exactly you're talking abou-"

"No, they are not dating," said a voice coming down the girl's dorm staircase. Ginny, clad in her bathrobe, stood next the couch where Hermione and Ron sat, absolutely flustered. They both kept trying to move away, but they were on the small couch and it was hard for them to avoid each other. "Not yet, at least," she finished under her breath.

"Anyway," said Ginny, "Lavender is wondering where you are Hermione. It's kind of late, don't you think?" Hermione nodded and bid them a quick goodnight.

Ginny simply sighed and patted the top of her older brother's head. She waved off to the both of them, smiling especially at Harry. He was suddenly reminded that he had found another interesting point of view. He watched Ginny go up the stairs, disappearing from view and he felt his stomach squirm.

"Well," Ron coughed and stood from the sofa. "It might be good if we both headed up, as well, mate."

They made their way to the boy's dormitory and Harry changed into his pajamas, crawling into bed. All the other boys were all ready in bed and the two lay quietly, until Ron audibly shivered. Harry asked him what was the matter, but there was another string of silence.

Just when Harry thought that he had fallen asleep, in a voice just above a whisper, Ron answered, "Think of how terrible it'd be to have to lose some one you love twice."

Harry didn't say anything, because no words were needed. Remus, on top of all the other things that he had to deal with, had most definitely lost his lover twice. Once when Sirius was sent to Azkaban, and now this. Harry curled in on himself, as if to ward of the chill that ran up his spine.

Harry had no idea how he should talk to the man now. He was like a father for him, but isn't it always hard to talk to one's parents? Yet, not everyone had to talk to their fathers about their dead gay lover.

Harry tossed around in his bed, his sheets tangling around his legs uncomfortably. He pulled the covers to his face and inhaled deeply. He missed the familiar smell of family that Sirius and Remus' home had to offer. Hogwarts was his home, first and foremost, but now he was missing a piece of himself now.

He was missing his family.

A.N./ Sorry it was a bit shorter than I usually have it, but here we go to the Remus confrontation! I've all ready written almost half of it in my head, so I just needed to get this chapter out of the way. Sorry again; I know it sucked. Please, oh please review if you might have liked it, though.


	14. Resolution on Hogwarts Grounds

A.N./ I know I've said this before, but never would I have thought this would have come as far as it has. And your support, my, my … I don't think that I'd be here if it weren't for every single one of you reviewers. Even the flamers (no, not that kind of flamer)!

What I'm trying to say is, thank you so very much. Same thing goes for my amazing beta, Secret Slashyness. I can't believe that this is it, but the book comes out next freaking Friday! Can you believe it? You will no longer need fanfiction. At least, for a little while.

So, as usual, please remember that the Harry Potter (in all it's trademarked glory) series are not mine. I plan on going over the entire story again and, hopefully, posting it on Azkaban's Lair (if they'll have me). If you like the chapter, feel free to drop me a note saying that you did. That would be greater than anything in this world.

Chapter 14: Resolution on Hogwarts Grounds

Four days after Harry came back from his, what he dubbed, "vision," Dumbledore met him in the Great Hall before he made his way to the common room for afternoon break. In a quiet voice, he told him that Remus had returned from his trip and he would be visiting Hogwarts tomorrow. With what felt like a stone in Harry's stomach, he trudged back to the common room, where Hermione was reading a large tome.

Hermione put her book down when she heard him come in through the portrait. It only took one glance to see something was bothering him. "You look like you just swallowed something slimy. What is the matter?"

"He's back. He'll be here tomorrow," Harry said, flopping down onto the couch next to Hermione's chair. Both Ron and Hermione knew that Harry was truly dreading this visit, and understandably so.

"You'll be fine. He'll be happy that you were able to see how things really were. There's no way that he will be annoyed by any of this. In the end, it might even help you," Hermione said in a sympathetic tone, almost straining to help Harry feel better. They both knew that she was right.

Harry's throat felt tight and he pulled his legs up onto the couch. He stared into the fire that crackled in front of him and neither friend talked for a while. Harry couldn't ignore the thing that ate away in his stomach. He knew that the old professor wouldn't be angry. He'd figured that much by now. Yet, the mere fact that he knew about the two was enough to make him extremely sensitive to the subject.

He felt that it was unfair that he would be able to have the chance to see how their lives would have been like, to see every interaction, nearly every kiss. He was given the opportunity to hear every laugh and joke, as well as the sorrows. He saw and heard, experienced, all of these things and yet Remus was unable to. This was what was tearing Harry apart.

The rest of the day went by quicker than Harry wanted it to. His afternoon classes barely registered in his mind. He nearly got five points deducted from Gryffindor for not answering Professor McGonagall's question over the correct pronunciation of the spell they were currently working on. He couldn't truthfully have told you what they were doing in class; mostly because he hadn't a clue. All he knew was that his godfather's lover, his old professor and mentor, would be at Hogwarts in less than a day and he was absolutely petrified.

Dinner that night was a quiet affair that involved only the conversation of Ron and Hermione as they consistently tried to console Harry, but knew that this was his own journey and he would have to figure things out for himself. Later, they went to their dorms and Harry lay awake for over two hours. When he finally drifted off to sleep his last thoughts jumbled together, leaving a night full of fitful dreams.

The next day, Harry walked down to Hagrid's cabin alone, as instructed by Dumbledore. Remus would be with Hagrid, waiting for him. It was important that Remus not be seen by any of the students because if parents found out that the werewolf teacher was back, they would be in a frenzy.

Hagrid greeted Harry, smiling gruffly and lead him into where Remus sat in his oversized chair. The man looked thinner than Harry had ever seen him, but he wasn't sure if it was because he had changed or the chair that made him seem somewhat smaller. He gave Harry a warm smile and hopped off the chair with a bit of difficulty. 

"Thar, thar Remus. Wouldn't want ta hurt anything trying ta get up out of the chair." Hagrid helped him to his feet and Harry suddenly remembered that the full moon had been just days before this. Remus thanked him, straightening his cloak around him and smoothing out the wrinkles.

Remus looked to Harry and said, "Would you like to walk? I think a bit of fresh air could do us both good." Harry started toward the back door of the hut. He heard Remus thank Hagrid again for his hospitality and followed Harry out. They air was cool and fresh and Harry breathed it like he had just emerged from the second task in the fourth year Triwizard Tournament.

"Lucky that it's a Saturday …" trailed Remus, uncharacteristically nervous. He beckoned Harry to walk with him and the two of them walked around the edge of the forest. Remus kept looking into the trees, his eyes shining in thought of memories.

After a few minutes, Harry brought up the courage to start conversation. "How was your trip?" He asked, not necessarily interested and a bit disappointed in himself for tiptoeing around the real matter.

Remus looked a bit surprised, but played along. "Oh, it was fine. Just menial Order work. I've been put in charge of visiting certain clans to make sure of what side they take. Voldemort is recruiting all he can get his grasp on, as much as we are trying," he rambled, obviously dreading this meeting as much as Harry.

Harry nodded, listening only halfheartedly. Internally, he was trying to find a way to bring up what had happened. He could just blurt it out and get it over with, but he didn't know if he could just do that. Maybe he could slowly ease into it, but he had no idea how he would do that either. He took a deep, long breath knowing that he should just get it all out at once.

"So, professor Dumbledore told me of your little escapade," Remus said solemnly, looking at him curiously as they continued on their walk. 

Harry felt like the world had crashed down to this moment and he couldn't stop himself from blurting out the entire story. He told Remus of everything he had seen and learned. Remus just walked quietly beside him, not opening his mouth once. He avoided Harry's eyes, but Harry knew that the man heard every word that fell from his mouth.

Once Harry was finished, the two had made it all the way to the very edge of the Hogwarts grounds. Remus stopped, looking out into the trees again, thinking. He looked very tired and confused. He opened his mouth to say something, but failed and closed it again. 

"It's okay if you don't say anything. I'd understand if … I'm really sorry. I trespassed on whatever you two had. It's okay with me that you two were – I mean I saw how happy you two were together, so of course I'd be okay with it. I'm just really sorry because it wasn't my place to-"

"We were happy," said Remus, cutting Harry off from his ramblings. "We were very happy. He would be glad to know that you know now. He was always the one bringing up the subject of telling you, and I was the one who kept putting it off. He wanted desperately to have you know about us. He … He wanted a family. For the three of us to be a family."

Harry bit his tongue, but couldn't resist, "Why didn't you tell me, then?"

Remus sighed heavily, but sounded as if something had been lifting from him. "I didn't know how you would have taken it. If it weren't for Lily, I'm not sure how James would have reacted himself. I was afraid that you would have rejected us. It would have devastated Sirius, and I could not see that happen." 

Remus looked to the ground, scanning his worn shoes. He shook his head once and put an anxious arm around Harry's shoulders, starting to walk. "He loved you more than anything in the world, Harry," he said quietly, staring at him face to face. He gave a small smile, as if it were a very hard thing to do. Happiness didn't seem to come easily to him anymore.

Harry smiled slightly, a lump forming in his throat. He thought of all the moments that Remus had shared with Sirius in that short week. Now, as he looked at the graying man, he saw more of him than in all the years he'd known him. "He loved you, too." 

Remus pulled his arm away, trembling. He gave a short cough, screwing his eyes shut, and covered his face with his hand. His breath heaved in his thin chest and he stopped, trying to regain control over his actions. Harry stood there blankly, not knowing what he should do.

With a final deep breath, Remus slowly put his hands to his side. His jaw clenched and he continued walking. "I know that. And I him. We didn't voice it very often, but we both knew." He was quiet for a long time after that, and barely looked at Harry. The two turned around and started heading back toward Hagrid's hut. 

"I know how hard it must have been to loose him the first time. I'm sorry," said Harry, trying to keep the conversation going. 

"I'm sure you do now." Remus looked extremely startled with what just had escaped his mouth and he covered it with a smile, trying again to keep his arm Harry's shoulder in a father-like manner. "Thank you. I know you are. I just wish that you could have seen him more, especially how he was before he went to prison." 

"He was a lot of fun to be with," Harry said, comforted by Remus' arm around his shoulder.

"Oh, he would have had so much fun with you, too. False Quidditch matches, pranks, no doubt at my expense … you two would have had the time of your lives." Remus said this as his smile turned slowly into a grin.

His grin faded, though, and a shadow crossed his face, his eyes unusually bright. With his voice sounding choked, he asked, "Tell me, Harry … Did we make good parents?"

Harry blinked tears away, hating how emotional this entire visit was. But, with a smile, he looked to Remus with as much honesty as he could show on his face. "The best."

Remus gave another cough, but he didn't put his face in his hands. This time he let his tears be shown and a few trickled down to his chin. He looked to the sky once again and inhaled the crisp air. "He'd like to know that he at least had a chance." 

He roughly dried the tears away and Harry had to wipe at his own face before the man could see.

"Do you think that there is a way that Sirius could ever come back?" asked Harry, his voice trembling with surprised emotion. An enigmatic look crossed Remus' face and he looked to the sky, slowing his pace. Harry slowed, too, watching every emotion that passed through his eyes.

"The future holds many things, Harry. Nothing is ever certain. I believe that if ever Sirius were to return, he would no longer be the same person that we knew. I've had to see that once already, and I don't believe that I would be able to bear it again."

They continued their walk to the grounds, just enjoying each other's company and taking comfort in their joined grief. Finally, they could see Hagrid's hut not too far off and Remus stopped where he was. "I'd better be going. I don't want anyone to see me," Remus said, patting Harry's shoulder firmly.

"Thanks Remus -- I mean, professor Lupin." Harry couldn't shake the name after a week of calling the man by his first name. He didn't know how much he could call him it now, so he tried to keep with something neutral.

Remus gave a small laugh and smiled. "You can call me Remus, if you wish." Harry nodded, grateful for the chance to be that much closer to him. Remus had wanted him to be his son then, of course he'd like to have the chance in reality.

Remus cleared his throat and continued in more of a business like manner, "Well, I suppose that will be all. I would really like for you to write me, if ever you have any troubles."

Harry nodded and, without thinking, leaned in and wrapped his arms around him in a warm embrace. Remus stood there, shell shocked for a moment, but just when Harry was about to pull away embarrassedly from the hug, he returned it. They stood for a moment in the loose embrace until Remus tightened it, putting his cheek to the top of Harry's head. Harry could feel the man's heart beating wildly, knowing that this was very far from the man that had taught him.

Yet, he was no longer Harry's teacher, or his mentor, but his father. 

When they pulled away, Harry promised to write more often. With a short wave, Harry watched him leave until he was a small dot in the distance disappear. Harry traipsed to the castle once again, the sun high in the sky. A breeze tickled the back of his neck and when he looked over to where Remus had disappeared he swore that he could hear Sirius' bark-like laughter.

Later that night, as Harry was getting ready for bed, an owl scrapped at the dorm window, nearly scaring Neville half to death. Opening the latch, a ruffled looking tawny owl swooped in, a small package tied to it's foot. After the boys tried to calm it down, Harry noticed his name on a separate note. He took the parcel from the owl and it struggled to get free and lunged itself out of the window.

When he opened the package the stuffed dog from Sirius and Remus home fell out and Harry bent over to pick it up, hoping that the other boys didn't see it. Seeing that the package wasn't for them, Seamus, Dean, and Neville paid no attention and continued getting ready for bed. Ron gave Harry a questioning look, but didn't push the matter.

Diving into his bed, Harry bid the rest of them goodnight and opened the letter in the confines of his bed hangings. He touched the plush dog once more, seeing that it was in the same condition he had left it. He placed it next to him and read his letter.

_Dear Harry, ___

_Sirius would have enjoyed watching us act like a pair of girls today. He always teased me and said that I was a woman. But, he truly would have enjoyed this afternoon. _

_I would like for you to have this stuffed toy once_ _again. As you well know, my mother made this for you when you were small and it's a piece of your own past that I believe that you should own. ___

_I wish to hear more from you in the future. I hope that this finds you in good condition. ___

_Sincerely, _

_R. Lupin_

Harry read over the short note once again and folded it carefully. Scooping up the small toy dog, he laid down, pulling the covers over him. The lights in the dorm shut off and the boys settled in for the night. Just as Harry drifted to sleep he brought the plush to his nose and smelled the familiar clean scent of wood and dog.

A.N./ Thank you, once again, for reading this. I've never had so much fun with a story in my life, and it's because there were people who liked it and reviewed.


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